What would you tell.....

[yeawutever]

someone that holds grudges and doesn't forgive easily. Ok so I was kinda like this until I got bored. I'm young at 20 and life is too short so I don't wanna waste it on the past, but on living the moment.

 

But see my b/f is like this an sometimes he just won't let it go (he's very sensitive about getting his feelings hurt esp. even worst if it's a woman). To him, if someone were to backstab him even if that person later on wants to amend it he just will never get over it.

 

As for me I chose not to be like this anyone but at the same time this also doesn't mean I have go to the extreme of hugging and kissing everyone in the world.

 

But what can I do for him that keeps living in the past? Any ideas.

[Wolf_22]

someone that holds ...him that keeps living in the past? Any ideas.

 

I used to be like that. I used to dwell over things to the point to where they became "me" to some extent. All I can say is advise him to get help if it's to the point to where it's causing the two of you problems, or, it's a reoccurring issue amongst his relationships. Just be careful about how you go about encouraging him to get it because some people will assume that you perceive him as being "crazy" or "insecure" and such. I know I did when people encouraged me to get help...

 

Anyway, it's obvious he's been badly hurt in his past, otherwise, he'd have the ability to part with issues easier. When I was like that, my issues derived from multiple sources; it wasn't just a singular person or incident that made me the way I was. I had baggage ranging from family issues all the way to being cheated on by an ex-girlfriend. In total, it formed this big conglomeration of negativity in my mind which, in turn, caused my internal translation of the world and my environment to be "cheated" and always broken for the wrong reasons --- after all, "Why was I always getting screwed over!" See me?

 

I'm no professional, so take this with a grain of salt if you wish. Best wishes!