Loss of libido

[dancinggal]

Hey guys. My boyfriend and I aren't very sexual right now, for numerous reasons, and I've found that my sex drive has dropped significantly to the point where I won't do anything to pleasure myself in anyway, I won't even indulge in fantasising, just nothing. I find it kind of distressing as I've always felt I had a high sex drive in the past and was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this and how it affected sex when they got back together.

 

Thanks!

[RN521]

it happened to me once. but it was because of the side effects of some meds that i was taking at the time. i changed my meds and everything was back to the way it was again. plus stress adds to the loss of libido as well. learn how to aleviate ur stress and u should be ok. if ur taking any new meds of any sort.. even over the counter meds, research the side effects.

 

hope this helps

[ebizdiva]

A lot of things can change one's sex drive. But I found it curious that you said "I won't even indulge in fantassiging." Why not? Do you want your sex drive to come back or not. You say, "it's distressing" yet what are you doing to try to get your sex drive back? A little fantasy might go a long way towards getting the old kicker going!

[arwen]

I think a person's sexdrive can vary over time- stress, fatigue, depression, being too busy to put your mind to it- all can play a role in it. The thing is that you need to become aware of not having sex not becoming a pattern. You posted this topic in the LDR forum, so I assume that you are longdistance, is that right? Maybe you can start being a bit playful with the webcam or with sexy photos. Or by buying sexy lingerie. Part of having fun is feeling sexy in the first place.

 

 

 

On the temporary loss/fluctuation of libido: When my bf and I moved in together, I had a very stressful time at work, and he had two jobs for a few months. We were feeling so exhausted that we went from 4 times a week to 2 or sometimes even 1. I have noticed that it helps to just start having sex more, even if you think you don't feel like it, just start foreplay. We are now at more stable times at our jobs, or know better how to handle the stress are back in business as before, so to say 8-[

[catwalk]

first thing, get yourself OFF any hormones (aka birth control)..... if you are on them, that might be the culprit..... actually it's most likely the culprit.

 

if you're not on any kind of hormones, then you need to get yourself checked out physically (hormone levels, testosterone, illness, thyroid, etc). If that is all good then it may be a psychological issue, which is much harder to treat.

 

I'm assuming you used to have a normal sex drive, so it wouldn't be asexuality. The obvious things, stress, trauma, troubles at work/home/etc or something like a pregnancy scare (even when it's negative it can still affect you!).

 

I lost my sex drive for over 3 years and thought it would never come back! I almost lost my relationship because of it. If you have a strong bond with your boyfriend and are determined to get through this together, you should be okay! My libido slowly came back and my bf and I are very happy we stuck it out!