sexually abused for eighteen years by my father

[rita]

I am twenty and I was sexually abused for eighteen years by my father, then had abusive boyfriend for one year and now I am in a healthy relationship but I am finding it hard to have sex but also to talk about it. I was wondering if someone had any advice how to over come the fear and anixity?

[Hero_99]

Well, you realize that any pain that your father 'caused you will pop up it's ugly head sooner or later. As far as anxiety goes you can relieve that by holding to a healthy regiment of honest communication with someone you trust.

 

You really need a professional councelor to talk to, It will do you wonders. Things that can't get done on this board.

[rita]

I have been in theopy for almost two years and it doesn't seem to be working. I don't want to lose this very special person I am with, so any addice is helpful to me right now.

[Hero_99]

Well, don't keep the pain inside and don't take it out on him. I don't know what else to tell you.

[Ash]

Does your new healthy relationship guy know about your past? If not, consider telling him, that might help your anxiety. Don't rush things, and let him help you to feel at ease. There are people you can depend on in the world, and I understand that it will be very difficult for you to trust somebody with what you've been through, but there are people who can help you feel better about things if you can let yourself.

 

Has your new guy been with you to a session, assuming you're still going? Do you think that might help? If he really is special, and you're special to hm, then he'll be around for a while to support you. Let yourself lean on him.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

I just wanted to say: "If you want him bad enough, you'll do it without realising it" it's like the phrase "leave a man no options..you leave him with no choice". Right now u've got a lotta options but when you realise that you love him enough, there's no way out.

 

Don't pressure urself into it tho, i'm sure he'll understand, they say practice makes perfect but do open urself up more and maybe u shouldn't worry about it so much, sometimes, time takes care of a lotta things.

 

Happy Heb