Anal sex help

[Juniebug]

I dont understand why men aren't satistfy with just regular sex (vaginal or oral), they want anal too?!?! I feel like if there are other holes in the female body, they would want to do that also...

 

My bf introduced the idea of anal sex to me by using his fingers and I must say that that's really uncomfortable and it hurts... I felt like wanted to use the bathroom and do number 2 lol ... does any other ladies feels like this also or is it just me?!? And believe me I didn't want to try it anymore... Anyone have any suggestions to change my mind?

 

And for men, please tell me why are you guys so fasinated by the whole idea of anal sex? does it feel better than other forms of sex or something?

[mahlina]

I think that men like anal b/c it's smaller, they're bored with regular, routine-sex, and it's just out of curiosity.

 

I haven't tried it, I think that it's gross. I don't understand the fascination behind it. It's like shoving your privates up a pile of feces! I know it sounds crude, but it's true...

[Bluebird]

tell him you'll dump him if he pushed you into it. he'll stop bugging you about it straight away. and its true that guys will stick their peewees anywhere possible. their just gross like that.

[Ash]

It's not for everybody. Some really like it, others hate it. If it's not your thing, then let him know it is a no go area.

[Gilgamesh]

If it hurts, and uncomfortable, then tell him this. he probably thinks you will get used to it, and later enjoy it, so thats why he keeps trying to finger you.

 

I personally never have done this, although I have met a couple women that actually said they enjoyed it.

 

Like I always say, if no one gets hurt, and both people enjoy it , i dont care what they do. its all ok.

 

Would I ever do it? well if the situation is right I will, she must like it or want to please me that way for variety. but i would never push it if she doesnt want to or like it. and I can definatly live without it.

[The Morrigan]

Like with anything more unconventional - read up on it if it's something you really want to try.

 

If it's something that's a real turn off for you though, don't let anyone force you into it.

 

From a sex tips website:

 

"Tip #1: Play Safe

 

There are some serious safety issues regarding anal sex that you need to be aware of at all times. First and foremost, whatever touches the anus shouldn't be touching anything else. Never never never take the penis out of the anus and put it into the vagina. That can lead to serious infections and other complications. After any kind of anal play, you should immediately change condoms and wash the relevant body parts thoroughly.

 

Of course, STDs are also a major concern with anal sex. This isn't just limited to AIDS; herpes, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea, etc. can all be transmitted through anal sex. You shouldn't be having anal sex without a condom; it's not worth the risk to either partner.

 

Tip #2: Lube, lube, lube

 

One of the most important thing to remember when thinking about anal sex is that, unlike the vagina, the anus isn't self-lubricating: you gotta bring your own grease. And, the more lube you use, the better. It will make the initial penetration much more easy and less painful for the woman and make the whole experience, for both of you, much more pleasant. The most common suggestion we get from our readers is to use LOTS of lube; we just can't emphasize this point enough.

 

All kinds of lube are used for anal sex, from spit to Vaseline to high-tech silicone-based lubes. We'd strongly recommend spending a little money to get a high quality water-based lubricant; remember, an oil-based lubricant like Vaseline will degrade the latex in a condom, destroying its usefulness. We'd recommend products like AstroGlide or KY Jelly, available in any drug store. Note, though a condom may be "lubricated", they typically don't offer as much lube as we'd recommend for anal sex.

 

There are some specialty lubes designed for anal sex that include an anesthetic to numb the woman's sensation and make anal sex less painful. We'd advise against these products. The simple fact is, pain is a way of your body telling you that something's wrong. If you're in pain during anal sex, you need to focus on solving the root problems, not anesthetizing yourself so it's easier to endure.

 

Tip #3: Start Small

 

Simply put, a penis is an awful big to be the first thing you stick up someone's butt . Better to start with something smaller and work your way up. Fingers are an excellent beginning point. Use one finger, then two, to initiate your partner into the mysteries of anal penetration. Try it while performing oral sex for an extra thrill. Be sure your fingernails are trimmed, not to forget the lube, and you might even want to wear latex gloves.

 

As your partner gets used to your fingers, you might graduate to a butt plug or a small dildo. Dildos are available in all shapes and sizes. Go shopping together to get one she thinks she can handle. Remember, though, don't put the dildo into the vagina after putting it into the anus. The safest way is to put a condom on the dildo before using it, and to wash it thoroughly immediately after.

 

 

Tip #4: Turnabout is Fair Play

 

Whether you're trying to convince someone to have anal sex or trying to figure out how to do it in a gentle, pain free manner, there's no better preparation that exploring anal play with yourself.

 

A partner is much more likely to consent to anal sex if she's seen that you're open to being on the receiving end as well. Encourage her to use her fingers inside of you, or even purchase a butt plug or small dildo and let her use that. Once she's seen you're willing to do it, it'll be hard for her to resist exploring it as well.

 

Of course, anal play on yourself is a great way to learn how anal sex feels and to learn how to make it more comfortable for your partner. You might also be surprised just how much you like it...

 

Tip #5: Clear the Way

 

Before having anal sex, the woman should have a good, complete bowel movement. If she doesn't, the man may find himself encountering far more fecal matter than he might have liked (i.e. packing the fudge). Now, for some people doing this on-command might not be the easiest thing, and straining to defecate is not healthy. A high fiber diet may help things along and is good for your health in any case.

 

Of course, if you really want to clean things out in a hurry, you can purchase an enema from any drug store. There's some controversy about this; some people feel having an enema first can actually increase the irritation during anal sex. If you're going to go the enema route, we'd recommend doing it several hours before you plan to have anal sex, rather than right before the act. "

[Kodos]

Unlike a lot of the others, I have tried this before, and it isn't just about what he wants. If you are not comfortable with it, you will never enjoy it. Don't do it because someone else wants you to. If it is an absolute No for you then say so, and don't let him convince you otherwise.

 

It takes two people who are really close and comfortable with each other for anyone to have pleasure from it. You are not at this point with your boyfriend, and you may never be that comfortable with anyone. No matter what, you need to have an honest talk with him about how you feel.

 

If he won't give up, tell him to shove it up his own.

[Nity]

I adore anal sex. Absolutely love it. There's something so.. depraved about it that just turns me on.

 

It only works really well for me under the right conditions though. It helps if I've had a few orgasms before hand and then lots of lubrication. We use Astroglide after having used KY. Astroglide is a much better lubricant, imho.

[kcwebmaster]

Everyone above have great information and great points. If he hurt you, he's doing it wrong. Anal takes a lot of time, trust, love and lubrication. If you can't relax enough for it to happen, I think that says it's either not for you or he's not for you.

 

On the other hand, tell him turn about is fair play, tell him you're going to do it to him first and see what his attitude is.

[Nity]

On the other hand, tell him turn about is fair play, tell him you're going to do it to him first and see what his attitude is.

 

I read this attitude a lot and it's one I fail to understand. There are many things that I love having done to me but that I would never want to do to anyone else. Likewise, there are things that my husband does to me that he'd have no desire to experience for himself.

 

If you don't want to have anal sex, tell him. If he presses the issue, end the relationship.

 

It's really quite simple.

[TehShyGuy]

i heard hot karls are great. Hot Karl!

[Juniebug]

Thanks everyone for stoping by and giving me great advice

 

I love my bf dearly and we are in love for over 2 years, I don't think its fair to say that he's not for me just b/c we are unsucessful having anal sex, there are lots of different ways to express our love...

 

I think many of you got the impression that I was forced to do something that I didnt want to do but that's not the case... I am opened to it but when I tried it, it was not pleasant... maybe we didnt research enough of what we needed to do... I will try it again with the all the wonderful advice given but if I am definate that it is not for me then my bf will understand and not push me into doing something that I dont want to do.

 

Well thanks again for all of you that stopped by and took the time read I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way.

[JH123]

There are a lot of different fetishes out there. We need to figure out all these different things in life and this is definitely one of them.

 

One thing to be aware of is that it is much easier to do when you are really turned on. Are there any things that he can do you you that get you more stimulated? Like giving you oral?

or pinching your nipples?

 

 

He probably likes it because it is dirty, forbidden, maybe he was raped?

 

Have him use a condum, as it is much cleaner that way. There are lubricants that can kill the pain, which much help the situation. the problem with always saying no is that he will look else where.