Dating a woman with an eating disorder

[poloplayer]

Not to brag, but I am pretty awesome LOL

 

Well, I'm a rock star in my own little world

 

Honestly though, my experience with women that I've dated that had an eating disorder was very interesting, and I learned a lot about the disease and a lot about the fragile female psyche (males are fragile too ya know).

 

1. Kate. She is a great girl. We're still friends but rarely see each other. She had an eating disorder, but that was just a symptom of deeper things. She was a cheerleader (this was during high school), and there was pressure to look great compared to the other girls. She would take some sort of pill which would make her stomach feel full, then simply not eat. But she also suffered from panic/anxiety attacks in social settings. I think this aggravated the pressures of looking her best and not eating much. Both issues had the same root, and she came from a family where her dad was a full fledged alcoholic and that simply added more stress.

 

2. Missy. Another great girl. Same thing though - she wouldn't eat, but take this pill. She played tennis and was a cheerleader as well. Pressure was there to look her best. She was also adopted, and her foster dad died of cancer at an early age. Again, too many pressures, not enough stability, all from one root.

 

3 + 4 were not too different; some details just changed.

 

I don't think this was a trend for any of these girls, I do believe that it is a serious disease as they honestly thought and felt that they were overweight and not good enough, but the issues go deeper - like RayRay mentioned when she had depression. This is what I was referring to when I mentioned that there are usually other things going on - it's more than 'I think I am fat.'

 

I was very caring and understanding and sensitive about this issue with these girls, but eventually it came to a point where there was nothing that I could do. I liked these girls; I cared about them, but I could not fully understand it all since it is a disease and I was pretty young when dealing with this.

 

I haven't seen this as an issue over the last few years with girls that I have dated or that I am friends with, but I have some concern because I have a sister starting high school next year. She's a great girl and I love her to death, but high school is the time when lot's of changes take place, and when many girls (and guys) struggle with lots of things such as pressure, anxiety, eating disorders. I'm not worried about her, but as the big brother, you better believe that I will be making sure everything is okay with her.