What do you think?

[Michelle2234]

I don't really know how to feel...after breaking up with my long-time boyfriend, and going thru the stages where I honestly and truly believed that I was never ever going to be okay or the same again...the feelings might be subsiding. I'm wondering if this is happening as a natural defense of my body to avoid the pain. It scares me to think that I might be getting over him, just because I really did love him so much, and the pain and grief that I've felt for the last couple months has been so unbearable and unbelievable.

 

I don't think about him as often, when I do, I don't get sad. After we're together, I'm not very excited or happy about it, just a kind of "yeah, whatever" attitude. However, it still bothers me when he is distant sometimes, but not very much.

 

I've been trying hard to be happy without him, and all of a sudden it is working! I still see some potential down the road, but not as much as I had once previously. What does everyone think I should do? Just continuing going about my everyday life and whatever happens will happen??

 

Also...and this is kind of off note, a little ironic. He texted me this morning a few times, and the last text said "Be careful driving" and about 40 minutes later, I got in a horrible, horrible car accident! I called him to let him know what happened, but I got his answering machine. I left a message, and told him what happened, but that I was okay, and I haven't heard from him since that text. Does he not care that I was seriously hurt? Is that awful or am I just being silly? Anyway, I am okay, but I would think that he would be a little concerned just because I was hurt so bad.

 

I know it's a random post, but that's what this place is here for right? Any opinions, suggestions, ventings other views on my post would be great!

 

Thank you \

[gracee]

hello, don't worry you are just undergoing the same stages and for me our feelings are just getting used to it, the pain is unbearable only at first and sooner and the more we are prone to it the more we will be okay?just continue to live each day, you were born and raised without him, don't make him a whole just a part so as to have stiil something in yourself.

 

gracee

[lunatic]

I totally agree with Gracee. Stick to what you are doing because it will be for the best in the long run.

 

If it makes you feel any better I feel the same way you do. It will pass and you will be a better person for going through this.

 

It will be worth it in the future.

 

Good luck,

Hubman01

 

P.s. PM if you want to vent. My ears are open to everyone and I can give a males point of view.

[Michelle2234]

Thanks guys..you had some good points

[Gilgamesh]

Hello Michelle

 

first off, I glad to hear you are ok from the accident. material things can be replaced, its just iron and plastic.

 

as for your feelings, are you feeling guilty over the fact that it doesnt hurt that much?, are you having thoughts that maybe your love wasnt that strong because your starting to not suffer as much?

 

no matter how much someone loved another, eventually they can heal, the heart has that ability, humans have suffered for love 10s of thousands of years, it has learned to adapt to heartbreaks, if not we wouldnt be here, because everyone gets them.

 

I have spent my weeks crying in bed, losing 15 lbs in just days, not eating or sleeping, we all have suffered for love, and yet, we all eventually get past it, its slow sometimes, and we get relapses, but they get further and further apart, you soon realise that you went a few days without even thinking about them. its all part of the normal healing process.

 

Dont feel guilty about healing, I know your hoping for him to comeback into your life, but let me tell you a little secret, did you know that the best way for you to love him like before, with a full heart, is to have one thats healed? yes. you see, if he was to return to you now, before you have healed past all this, it will not be as before, resentment, trust issues and fears will creep in, but by completely being over the pain and having a fully mended heart can you fully love again as you did before.

 

so dont feel guilty or bad for moving forward, its a win win situation, if he doesnt not return, you will be over the pain and happy anyway and capable of loving someone else, but if he does come back into your life, you will also be ready, for you would have forgiven him, and it will be easier to trust him again etc.

[Michelle2234]

Thank you Gilgamesh...as always your words make sense to my mind, and I can understand things on a level that I would not normally think on, but that you do!

 

I always love to read your advice, whether it's for me or not! I even search for your posts to see what you had to say, in my opinion, you have to be THEE best advice giver!

[gracee]

okay my sister, for you to know i also had a break-up with my bf for years..all along i thought i knew i've got so many questions about him but bec.of love i didn't ask himnow i just found out that aside from having an affair wit gays he also do it with guys,it hurts me but i let him go bec. i love him i wnat him to find his happiness. i still cry every night and i don't know when i will be okay but i know things have reasons and im praying to gOD that it will not happen to anyone bec.it is unbearable..just be strong okay..we can make it..