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I'm very confused. I'm in my early twenties, female, i've been straight my whole life, almost to the point of boy crazy. ive never even been interested in girls and i've had friends that were lesbians. i was never interested, turned on by it, or even thought about it. I could stand next to a naked girl and having sex with her wouldn't cross my mind. and then it happened, i met a girl in college who shook my core, pursued me in a way that no man ever had. we've been together for almost 2 years and we're not only lovers but we've become best friends. we're both extremly flirty her with men and women, and me with men. we've had trust issues and she's very dependent on me emotionally. she has a history of being manipulative and controlling and every friend of mine, and of hers really, would agree with this. but im so in love with her as a person, but i don't necessarily desire her. i mean i look at men that are tall, dark, and handsome and my head spins, but i love the way she makes me feel. but i don't know if i want to be with her anymore and it's so hard because i want her in my life, but not necessarily in a sexual way, and she's crazy in love with me and doesn't question it for a second. am i supposed to stay with this person because i know it would work and it is my first serious relationship, or am i letting go of something that is real and i'm just afraid??

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You obviously love this women. So I guess thats not the question here. So dont deny how you feel or how she makes yo feel. But ask yourself this.... If she is so emotionally dependant on you, and you are emotionally attached to her, then why does this have to stop. If you are heterosexual, then long term this relationship may not work (but it may). But if you did end things, it does not stop you from being good friends and emotionally close.... just the physical part will stop. Go with your emotions- but remember sexuality is a part of our emotional needs.

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  • 4 weeks later...

If you ended the physical side of the relationship I don't think that you would both still be able to be friends. Its obvious that she wants the physical side of the relationship and it would be unfair to expect her just to be friends with you.


I think that being with your girlfriend is confusing you. You really need to be on your own for abit whilst you sort out how you feel


Hope this helps xxxx

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