Should I be dating a single parent??

[pyemyster]

Hi

 

I'm 25 year old male never had a girlfriend before, I'm trying this online dating thing at moment find it helps because I am shy I've talked to a few girls online but not met anyone yet, anyway Talking to this girl online at moment whos the same age as me she seems really nice and have things in common,

thing is she does have a kid and what worrys me is what I would be taking on

 

(this is really hard too word)

 

I mean do people like this like expect you to take on a father figure I wouldn't mind trying if I had too but I don't know If I would be any good at it as I have no experience in this sort of thing, and how life changing this might be is also a bit frightening,

 

Do you think I'm doing the right thing in seeing this girl or should I be seeing someone without kids, I'm 25 and find I'm usally attracted to girls older than me or same age always find have more things in common.

[Jayar]

It's a hard choice to make. While it's sweet and noble to suggest that you should go for it, if kids are something you never planned (at this point, at least) then maybe you're better off dating someone who's at the same stage in life as you. I may get a lot of flack for saying that, but kids are a HUGE facet of a relationship even to a couple that had and is raising them together... Let alone the whole blended family thing.

 

It is possible that, just as someone without kids might be better suited to you (especially if you don't want kids, or want kids much later with the person you marry) someone who already has kids might be a better choice for this girl.

 

Donning my flame-proof suit here when I say it but unless kids are something you're ready for NOW (and someone ELSE'S kids, at that!) don't get involved here. There are going to be plenty of people that are nice with things in common and don't have this kind of "baggage".

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

its not up to what we think nor does it matter what we think what do you think

 

if you ask me

 

hell no........i dont like children dont want to be within 10 ft of them but thats just me

[Jayar]

hell no........i dont like children dont want to be within 10 ft of them but thats just me

 

I'm with SBJ... Kids are just the larval form of future politicians and lawyers.

 

(Except me of course. I was a great kid.)

[Ampire]

If you research my old posts then you will understand why I would say no!

[breath.o.fresh.air]

I think that it's great you recognize the effects and problems that come with kids, but it ultimately comes down to what you want out of life. If you are ready to take that step, and give it a shot, go for it - just make sure you are aware of what you're getting yourself into. On the other hand, if you dont want kids in your near future, don't get involved with her.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Dating a single mom is one thing. But don't get involved with her too heavily and don't meet the children unless you are ready to be a father. If you're dating her and you start feeling that her children are an obstacle to your dating of her, then end it. And I'm a single mom.

[Up and Down]

I would say no. If you are questioning it already, I would say its an issue with you. To be honest I don't want to date someone with kids. I am not sure if I want kids, sometimes I think yes and sometimes I think no. However I do not want to be responsible for someone elses, nor deal with the issues that arisefrom having kids when you first start dating. I.e. can't go out because she has to take care of the kids. Or going out for something as simple as dinner will require getting a baby sitter. At 25, I am sure there are women that will match you that don't have kids. Dating someone is complicated as it is, throwing kids into the mix makes it that much harder and adds more pressure for a serious relationship sooner. I should add that some single moms do just want someone to just hang out with with no pressure, so maybe you should see what she wants out of this.

[HappyAsALark]

I don't think any single mother expects the guy she is dating to take on the father figure role. Maybe be a good role model in general and show that you care, but know that you are not the father. Maybe if things were to get serious with her your relationship with her child would probably grow as well in that department but not in the beginning.