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was i overreacting??


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my ex and I are still close friends and even alittle more then that, we still have feelings for each other but know it wuldnt work if we did try again. anyways he has a hard life and im always there for him to lend money that he cant afford to pay back even when he says he will and give him somehwere to live and just the usual friendship stuff of the strong kind.

 

my problem is lately i have found out a few lies he has told me but also given me reasons to why he did this, but the thing is i feel i cant trust him so much anymore but hes still my best friend so i try to just move on from the lies, and be cool as friends again.

anyways yesterday he rang me just to see if he could borrow money to go out that night, i felt really horrible about him coming over here just to get money off me, even tho he prob would pay me back, it was just the idea of it , especially seems he was going out without inviting me ( fair enough he took a guy friend to the party i spose ) which was fine but i felt horrible seems i had asked him if he wanted to come over to mine and stay if he didnt end up going and he said sure but then when i said i would lend him money he said he was only going to go to the party if his friend matthew was still going and he would be here by 8 to get the money if he was still coming otherwise if matt wasnt going he just wouldnt turn up, and that hurt me to know that he would come here to get money off me but not if he didnt need to get money kinda thing.

I told him that i was upset he asked to borrow money cos i do alot for him and i never ask for it back but lately things have happened liek him lying to me and i just feel like he might hurt me again and i dunno if i can trust him just yet to be lending him money etc so soon incase he does hurt me again and then ill just feel used, i know how special he is and how hes there for me too and helps me out also it just happens i dont need it as much as him but i just dont trust him yet as ch as i used to after bein lied to.

The thing im worried about though is was i overreacting and to harsh by saying no in the end to lending money and saying that it hurt me, and thta i realize i need space to trust him again first b4 were friends again, am i overreacting??? pls help me understand from another point of view, thanks so much, charlie

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I agree with what you did. He's obviously using you for cash. In my opinion, it's ok to borrow money from a friend once in a while if perhaps u didn't bring any cash to an event or something, but according to your post it's all the time with him. I wouldn't give him any more money. You'd be doing him a favor. Why? Because as long as he's taking from you he's not learning to be responsible!

 

Good job...and make you sure don't change your mind and give him some money.

 

Cheers,

 

Bill

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thanks bill, i guess i know what i did right to, i just always worry about others feelings too and not seeing from their point of view also because we all know how easy it is to only see how we feel the situation is.

hes a special person and he wouldnt be my best friend if he just used me for cash, weve been thru alot and always been close, were always there for each other but were still gettin used ot just being friends and how it works and im still tryin to trust him again so although i knwo he doesnt just USE me for cash he shouldnt really ask liek he did......anyways thanks alot, charlie

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