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I'm sorry but I have to disagree... I mean she might lose her mother!! When you have to face such things, you think that nothing else matters even though it actually matters. I don't if it makes sense but we are not talking about losing a pet or something. I think you have to ask yourself if you really love her and if you do then be patient and give her your support, be there for her.


I mean I've been married for 1 year 1/2 and my husband and I have been together for almost 2 years 1/2... There is no way I would have let him down in a situation like this even if he had told me to do so. I would have been there and eventually, if you are really in love, you guys will get back together. The real question is 'does it matter?'


Just my opinion...


I can definetly understand being patient when someone is going through a hard time. I CAN'T justify cheating in any way.

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talk to her... find her in anyways possible then give her all the postive ideas throughs ways... that she wants to hear and wants to know... obveriously she still likes you. she is just confused. just give her all the good things you can give her. convice her to still be togehter

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well... it turns out she didnt cheat on me? but she wanted me to "stop loving her"


She tells me that she is scared because we are getting too close, and that shes going to have to eventually tell me some terrible things that shes done, and that she would rather break up now over something trivial, and remember our relationship as "good".. than break up later on over some "earth shattering thing" and that its just better this way...


She then proceeded to tell me that she loves me, and has never loved anyone, and that I'm the first guy that she has ever trusted, and that she will never stop loving me...


I'm just confused here on what to do... obviously something awful happened in her past and shes afraid to tell me about it.... and yea, I have no idea what it could be? I know its probably something really major, because shes had a REALLY screwed up past.. but I'm fine with that.. I know her now.. .. her past is her past.... and i told her this, but apparently this is so major that I'm probably going to find out eventually, and she doesn't want things to be like that... so shes better off just breaking it off now...


I don't want to though... and I know she doesn't want to either.. so shes says we're broken up.. so I guess thats that? I mean, I'm going to try to take advice that I give on these forums and try to move on with my life, and start figuring things out on my end.... its just.. everything is so messed up in my head right now I don't know what to do..


Part of me is saying "Just go NC, she'll figure out her situation, you figure out yours" and I know thats going to be the popular commentary here.. and I agree with it...

Another part is saying, "Don't let this go, its not over, there is a relationship here, you just need to do some repair work, and everything will work out" And I guess this is the part thats messing me up, because there IS no reason to stop talking to her.... I guess I just wish there was some sort of concrete reason to end this.... and I know that when I decide to walk away from a relationship.. its the end.. it always is.. I never go back.. no matter what... be it for pride or whatever, I can't ever get those feelings back.. once the door is shut, its sealed tight, and nothing will open it again.. and I don't want it to be like that with her....

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argh this must be so hard for you


My advice would be too give her some space...a couple of weeks and then try calling her.

She clearly still loves you and is not quite sure how to handle the situation. So she is pushing you away. I can guarantee she is feeling worse then you are just needs a bit of time.


If you give her that time out, she will feel less stressed and chances are feel able to talk to you in a few weeks. If you keep contacting her, she will stress out more and push you further away.


Good luck, hope your feeling alright.

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If she dumps you like this during her hard times,..........................good thing this wasn't a marraige. LDR stink. I don't believe in them. Not that it has to do with the breakup. Sorry to hear.


Girls are just random and rediculously complicated. Scientists are still trying to understand them.

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What a bunch of BS she's giving you my friend, and you're eating it up.


I understand her situation is quite hard, but still.

Have to agree with this. She sounds like a neurotic with a taste for the dramatic. Trust me, while it feels good to think you can "cure" her, you won't. If by some mad chance you do, then she's nearly guaranteed to hop to someone new when that happens. Consider this a bullet dodged.
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