What do u think?? HELP!!

[anne_a]

I have been in a relationship with the same man for over 7 years. We had broken up for the first time about 6 months ago. We got back together and everything seemed better. Until about 2 weeks ago he started changing. When I mean changing he wanted to be out of the house more, was saying hurtful things to me etc.. We have built a family. We are not married but have 2 kids together.(3&6 yr. olds) Now we once again broke up. I can't help but feeling like he is coming back and I have been doing the right things by not calling him or askingwhat he is doing. My kids miss him and I am hearbroken. He says he just needs "space" and he "can't be in the house all the time". We got together when we were 17 & 19 so I understand we were young. I want nothing more than to work everything out. I really just want him to come back because I feel incomplete. has anyone out there been through something similar to this and ended up working there relationship out? Am I wrong for thinking he's going to come back? Is there any advice out ther for me? Is there any man who can relate to the "I need space" issue and maybe can give me an insite on that?

 

Anne

[charmed]

Hi Anne,

 

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing with us.

 

You are not wrong for wanting your man back, but you would be wrong if you wanted him back for the wrong reasons.

 

His needing space could be for a number of reasons, but his time apart from you probably gave him an insight into what he could be doing with his time. Often when we break up, we realise the amount of effort that is required, and how easy it is to do many things when we are single.

 

His getting back with you is a good thing, and as we grow into our 20's, we mature properly and begin to see life in it's real perspective. Your relationship can be important to both of you, but you need to live your own lives aswell - and you notice this when you get together with someone at a young age.

 

What do you want? Do you want him back, or not. Your kids should not be the reason for your answer - you should be thinking about yourself and what you really want.

 

As for him, he will make his own choice. You should use this time apart to work out what you want, and you should not spend your time worrying about what he is going to decide to do. It may sound hard, but it will be time well spent for you if you use it wisely.

 

Lastly, remember that feeling incomplete is generally missing the feeling of being loved and in a relationship. A lot of the time, it is not directly related to a specific person that we miss, but just the love and relationship. Think about this. Is it him you miss, or a loving relationship??

 

Hope this helps you some,