My had am afair 8 years go and it still nags at me

[mookiep2000]

I discovered my Wife's Affair sevral tears ago, we went through some very difficult times, Our marrige has survived. However I never felt and she has said she never told me everything because she didn't want hurt me. For the most part I am able to deal and accept the afair happened and things are good, But it stills nags at not knowing what she hasn't owened up to, Leaving all kinds of things on linger in my mind. She said her girl friend told she told me too much as it is. How can I truly ever be at peace with this sitiuation?

[surfdog]

Hi...sorry to hear that...I guess if you love her you can forgive her even though that is a tough thing to forgive. Have you tried therapy or even church or something spiritual. I suppose it will have to come from deep inside of you. The one thing I've learned in my life is that 99% of the answers we need come from inside our own minds...Good luck.

[crookster_man]

Indeed, you may want to know the nitty gritty details but why? What purpose will that serve? She cheated on you, she admitted it. She wants to work with you to move on and heal. Focusing on the mistakes and the finer points will solve nothing and heal nothing.

 

You have to work together to heal each other and to forgive her will require you to still your mind. I can sense that you still have many unanswered questions and still are plagued by this event. Counselling would be a start. You need to understand that this wasn't a personal attack.

 

Forgiveness is the only way to move on. Forgiving her doesn't mean you condone her behaviour or that you accept what has happened. Nor does it make you weak and a push over. It allows you to feel the sadness without the anger.