Should I confide my problems in a friend

[Jonboy582]

Hello I was just wondering do you think I should confide my problems with a good friend of mine.

 

Thing is I have huge insecurity issues and as some of you may know NEVER tell anyone including family and stuff about my problems. Only place they are told is on here.

 

So do people find it helpful to tell friends there problems, this friend is not the person who gives advice. And maybe not the type who is good to keep secrets. And what I fear most is my secrets getting out.

 

Pretty much the guy in question is the closest I have to a best friend (I have always tried to avoid best friends, but as 2 of my closest 4 friends moved away I have spent alot of time with the bloke in question).

 

I need to get to the Doctors for my depression but I just cannot do it, I know it sounds pathetic but I need some support or something to MAKE me go. And pretty much talk I might want to say to him is that I may be leaving my girlfriend whom I love and suffering from depression (officially undiagnosed though).

 

Should I give this guy a chance or is it not worth the risk. Because if people did find these out I would have great difficulty leaving the house.

 

Jon

[Toki]

You should.

 

When you trust somebody that much they will see it. People love being apart of something other than themselves. But honestly you know how this friend is, obviously there is some people who you shouldn't entrust with say, your house keys...

 

But as far as a general idea or talking to a friend, for sure! A lot of friends from my home town I used to confide in, I don't anymore because well I guess I do my own meditation you could say but I still have some friends I rely on greatly and its mutual.

 

So try to make it mutual for the both of you.

[Jonboy582]

Well with things such as house keys this guy would be great. very honest, just hope he can keep secrets

 

Well when we out playing pool some time I will tell him.

 

Thanks for the reply

 

Jon

[WaterIsLife]

I think you absolutely should confide your problems with a close friend.

 

I think you should do this with more than one friend. You should do this with your family too.

 

You see, your insecurity is the root of the problem and you need to conquer it. You have been letting it run your life (I know a LOT about this topic). Your defense mechanism due to your insecurity has been to withdraw, pull-away, and close-up. But these are false walls you are putting up around you. They are not/will not do you any good. In the long run they will make you feel worse.

 

Make a point to be more open with the people that love you. In my case, I recently spoke to my Dad on things like life, love, and happiness (something we have never really talked about). I am finding out a part of him that I never knew before and it has been really great. We became so much closer after just one conversation.

[Jonboy582]

Well I will start small with just one friend. I need to choose a night where I know we will not be seeing others to reduce how uncomfortable I feel. If things don't work out like I would like and I find out others know then maybe I will put this opening thing on hold. If not I may tell some other people my problems.

 

WaterIsLife I hope you are right and my problems do get solved/situation improved.

[WaterIsLife]

Jonboy582,

 

Don't get discouraged if opening up to that first person does not go well. I think people in our society are somewhat programmed to ignore, and keep closed up, our deepest most personal feelings. So this 1st person may get uncomfortable and try to distance themself from the conversation. If they do this it is only because they ignore, and keep buried, their own deep and personal feelings. Don't get discouraged. Don't let it end there. Open up to someone else.

 

What you're doing is courageous. You are stepping out of your comfort zone. You're sticking your neck out. This can be frightening. Don't let that fear control you. Letting fear control you is NOT living your life.