i want my life back and i feel guilty

[louann]

My hubby and i have been together for 11yrs. we met in high school (15-16yrs old) i was preg. he said he loved me and i believe him that is not a doubt. He needed me said he would kill himself when we would break up i felt smothered often but yet wanted a father for my child. i guess i felt i needed him too. i was a good teen mom would not do anything that was not in my eyes "mommy" like. i dd go too far i never went out did not follow dreams. well we married finally 4yrs ago had a son three yrs ago and now i find myself no longer being able to deny the fact that i do not love him. He is weak childish depends on me has mental problems ...depression,anxietyand anger. I feel so guilty that i want my life back, like i have made my choice already and have a family and that i should not ruin it. We have started talking about it recently and i have tried saying how can you find someone when you are 15 and expect to be together forever when to are not even the people you will be when you grow up. He insists he loves me accuses me of cheating and is waiting for me to run out with the kids.

I want it to go easier. I want him to realize i have given up so much for him so much of my life and he is ok to live his ...i think... now. i wnat us to work this out calmly for the whole family.

He deserves some one who loves him and deserve to live my life now and find happiness, some one compatible and on my level.

Is there a way to shoow him this is for the best we've shared growing up and now need to move on?

[russia]

i assume you have found another man who is ready to take you and the kids in.

 

or are you self sufficient to be a single mom and raise the kids yourself? will he give you sufficient alimony and child support?

 

if so, go. there's no love, just obligations. you still have a long life ahead of you. you've paid for your foolishness with 10 years of your life. i think that's long enough.

[routerx]

My sister basically left her husband because he was a bum and she didn't love him. She had two kids. She regrets it to this day that she didn't work with him on their relationship. She's alone with 2 kids now living on food stamps, 45 years old, without much hope for those greener pastures she was looking for.

 

I think the problem is the relationship, not your husband. There is someone out there who thinks your husband is perfect the way he is, so the problem isn't the husband, it's how you see him. I strongly suggest working on the relationship.

 

The grass is usually made greener by personal changes on your side of the fence, not hopping over it.

 

It's easy for me to say all of this, I'm a single male, I can't comprehend what you are going through but that's how I see it.