my boyfriend wont have sex with me

[avustt]

i have been with my boyfriend for three years. he has only has sex with one other person besides me. in the beginnning as usual we had sex all the time but now he never wants to. hes never horny, never wants to do anything we go for months at a time without doing anything. im a very horny person so it bugs me very much. do u think hes cheating on me? gay? just not horny? bored? he talks about how he wants to marry me all the time, were very much in love. and im very fit and in shape im fairly attractive i think. i dont know what the problem is. please help.

[Guest]

Plain and simple, just ask him about it. It's as easy as that.

[avustt]

sorry i meant to say- but i have asked him and he said that he just insent horny all the time anymore, and that sex isent that big of a deal. He's an 18 yr olg guy how is that possible???

[bronwyn]

hi there

 

I seem to relate as i have the same problem except weve been together for 10 years next month and still not married either, im 25 myself and hes 30 and i dont think it's normal for a guy to go through this unless theres something majorly wrong, ive also asked him and he also says he's just not as interessted as other guys are in sex which shoked me as i thought all guys were the same, but nevertheless were trying to overcome this but it's horrible it does start making you question yourself and what could be wrong with you????

 

If you need to chat further with someone who understands please feel free to e-mail me

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey

 

Everyone's pretty much mentioned "communication" so there's really no need for me to reinstate or elaborate on that anymore.

 

Apart from asking him, is there a possibility that you already know why? Like sometimes we ask ourselves why something is happening, when deep down we all in a way have our suspicions?

 

I think that it could be that he's just not attracted to you like that anymore and he could be interested in someone else...you know the phrase "you don't know what you got till it's gone". He knos he's got you now he could be bored so he might be sexually attracted to someone else more and wanting something they can't have. That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore, sometimes...we all get a bit wild or tired.

 

I hope to be hearing about your talk soon so I can have more to say on your situation.

 

Happy Heb

[DealingWithIt]

Not horny at 18? I think your bf is getting his groove on with someone else or he's not interested in sex with you anymore.

[routerx]

What is more important, marriage or sex? They BOTH are, but really, which one is MORE important?

 

My point is, if you marry him, sex will come in waves. Maybe, just maybe, sex doesn't happen (what if one of you are in an accident?).

 

What I'm getting at is while sex is very important, it sounds like you are considering marriage, and if that's the case, you have something great. I'd look at how lucky you are right now. A lifelong partner.

[wonderer]

Hi.

 

Well, I think it could be a couple of different things.

 

1.) Maybe he has found someone else and she is fulfilling his need.

2.) Maybe he's just not attracted to you anymore, or

3.) Maybe he's getting fulfilled some other way. Does he look at porn and masturbate on a regular basis?

 

Just something to think about, but let us know what happens. Whatever the problem is, communication is the answer.

[avustt]

thankyou for everyones input, whats really funny is we have decided to go on a break, but not becasue of the sex thing. i havew always had a hard time trusting him so he sick of it, he says hes still in love with me but doesent want me to be so dependent on him anymore, and when i show him im not dependent then we can be together and get married. what does everyone think about that?

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey

 

Maybe he has a point. If you constantly have a hard time trusting him then there's a real problem somewhere coz you know, in a relationship you're togetha and I really do think you should be able to trust one another.

 

I'm assuming he just hates how you have troubles trusting him, so sick of it...I don't know wether he's honest about how you can get married with him one day or he's just being nice or something.

 

Happy Heb

[Josima]

Does he smoke dope?

I had the same problem with my boyfriend and that was the reason.

 

Other reason can be very low self esteem or depression.

[Josima]

A man who wouldn't have sex with you.

I would be too curious not to investigate and find out the truth.

Either he really was a cheater, and then you better off without him, or there is another issue.

However, in any way, it is not normal and is not OK for a couple, before even marriage, in love, not to be sexually active.

You had every reason to wonder and suspect.

Did you ever ask him what was the reason for his avoidance?

What was his answer?

[AP Arianna]

I don't mean to offend you or anything, but you just said it yourself: you are a very horny person. Maybe he's just sick of it. Maybe you spent so much time doing it before that he now wants to know whether the relationship could surviver without it. It's not only about sex...