Blue_Soul Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 There's basically no one I can talk to about this so I'll spill it here. I do have to recap a little from a previous post but there are some outcomes that I haven't mentioned yet. Basically, my friend was recently hanging out a lot with a girl he knew after parting with his girlfriend of two years. They hooked up once, never slept together, and he told me himself he didn't want a relationship because he was moving away soon. He introduced me to her and WE really seemed to hit it off instantly. During subsequent times hanging out, she always seemed WAY more attentive to me than she was to him but they'd still always be together. She actually called my house once when I wasn't there. I called back the next day...no callback. We kept running into each other through my firend and nothing changed...relations were still good and I found out she was going on a trip for about six weeks. I called to say goodbye...no callback. I was invited out by my friend for a drink and, of course, she's there. We get to talking and, just before we left, I told her I liked her. Just kinda slipped out. Then she told me she liked me too and she wished we could have spent more time together. I kissed her gently on the cheek and asked her to keep in touch. She contacted a few times while she was gone, sent me a letter, etc. Fast forward to now: my friend has postponed his moving date, she's home and...you guessed it. She's seeing my friend again. I don't whether to be mad at myself or her. I must admit I feel a little used. I waited for so long... Link to comment
Nifty_Swifty1 Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 you waited too long bud. you can't think people are going to be there for ever. All you can do now is take it as a leson learned, and not make the same mistake twice. Link to comment
sayer7 Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 If the only way you're seeing her and talking to her is when all three of you are together, and you're not getting call-backs when you call, etcetcetc....... Then maybe that's because she's trying to tell you she's NOT really interested in you. Women can be really subtle like that. Men generally need a direct, no-nonsense obvious answer-- but that's not how women generally function. Harsh reality: Just because she called you once when you weren't home doesn't mean she wants a huge serious relationship with you. And just because she let you kiss her on the cheek doesn't mean she wants a huge serious relationship with you either. I think if you look within you might find your competitiveness and jealousy is between you and your friend.... you're angry because you see something you want (the girl) but she seems connected to your friend at the hip... and there doesn't seem to be any chance for you or her to hook up on your own. It's ok to be angry with your friend but obviously she isn't interested and I don't think you want to continue to pursue something that, so far, has been a dead-end road. It's a waste of your precious time, right?? All I can say is, there's other women out there... start looking...again. Take it as her loss... you did what you could and made yourself available... and well she didn't take advantage of the opportunity. Sorry if you hate my advice.... but this is just what I think the best course of action is right now. Link to comment
Blue_Soul Posted October 16, 2003 Author Share Posted October 16, 2003 Two very different answers...and either way it was my fault. Now I feel worse. Link to comment
Nifty_Swifty1 Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 I know it dosn't fel like it, but you'll get over it. mistakes are made, and you learn form them. Life moves on. Link to comment
Ash Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 I don't know, but it doesn't sound that bleak to me. Don' tbe angry at anybody yet. You've simply done what others may consider the right thing to do and not rush into a situation that may put you between your friend and a girl. Reviewing the facts from your first post: - She said she wanted to spend more time with you - She contacted you when she was away - You're friend claims to not want a relationship - She's paid you attention in the past - In the time she was away, she wasn't with him either. Don't worry too much about the phone calls being unanswered, some people are like that, and maybe she didn't know what to say anyway. Sounds to me like she's not lost to you yet. Keep you eyes and ears open to see what happens next. Keep hanging out with your friend, she'll hopefully be along with him and you can see first hand what's up. It's hard to believe that she would have acted that way, and all of a sudden you'd be out of her head completely. I wouldn't give up yet on it. Link to comment
sayer7 Posted October 16, 2003 Share Posted October 16, 2003 Well the idea wasn't to make you feel worse but I guess my brutal honesty was kinda harsh.... I was just telling you how I saw it without the rose colored glasses on and I forget how nice life can seem WITH the rose-colored glasses on-- but at some point you really have to take them off and see the truth of the matter. Maybe how I see it is totally wrong--or it might be right-- it's just an opinion that you can keep or toss out. I just think it's obvious she's not really interested... but I honestly think it's her loss that she didn't take advantage of your availability. It seems she stuck on your friend and doesn't seem to want to expand her possibilities. Cheer up hon...never meant to make you feel worse over there and I apologize if you feel I was a little too harsh... Link to comment
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