how can she....

[lilman90945]

ok...there is this one girl, i've known her for about 4 months. and we been cool, matter of fact more than col with each other. we went to homecoming and we talk all the time on the phone. i like her so so much and she knows i like her, just not how much. she even likes me too. she said she likes me and im cute and all. but my friend went to her and asked her would she think about going out with me, or would she ever go out with me she said; " well no i wouldnt right now because i flirt a lot with other guys and a relationship with me and him wouldnt last" ((i didnt tell my friend to ask this but im glad he did)). but what the .... im mad that she would even say that, i mean does this mean that there is something wrong with me? im just a little upset about that. and i do see her flirting with guys and it makes me SoOoO upset i just go and tell them to back off, and she doesnt like when i do that. what should i do about this whole thing?

[Guest]

I suggest you go talk to her yourself. Maybe she was simply embarrassed that your friend asked her about that, or she didn't know how to answer it. I would guess the reason she doesn't like you telling other guys off is because you really have no right to. You may have a crush on her and all, but she's not 'yours', so to speak. So try talking to her about it, and see what happens. Don't believe something until you hear it yourself, because you can't always rely on what other people say.

[optimistic person]

i think she is an ok female but she thinks that if she gets ina relationship with you she would have to stop flurting with other guys annd she likes that right now and you would have to stop as well so what do you want ot do when you ask about getting in a reletionship you are really asking her to stop flurting with other you know and she probably would not want to stop that right now. Give it some now time spend time with her and if she really wants to be with you then she would do that. Don't rush it ok take it slow and be patient.

[Mar]

Well, here's how I see it: would you rather she led you on, possibly started dating you due to initial attraction, then broke it off with you because she really wasn't ready for a steady relationship, or would you rather you knew now, before anything started? I personally think it's fine that she wants to go out on dates with different guys. There's no set age limit where a girl decides she wants to be with just one guy, and at least she's honest and knows that she wouldn't be good for you or anyone else as a steady girlfriend right now!

 

You can't take this personally, it's not a slight against YOU. I'm quite sure she would have said the same about anyone else she was attracted to, if asked that same question. And how is it you can go tell off a guy she's interested in? That's not your right, my friend. She's free to speak to whomever she pleases, which is why she's getting angry when you do it.

 

Let her go and move on.....if she's not interested in a long-term relationship, you can't "make" her get into one. Yes, you could ask her out on a casual date, but would you be able to let it go at "casual" since you obviously want more? You definitely have jealousy issues, and I hate to think of what a conflict that would cause if you went out with her a couple of times, and she then said she wanted to date other people!

 

There are many, many girls out there. Don't fixate on the one who doesn't want the same things you want, when there are so many other girls that DO!

 

Mar