feeling pretty worthless today..........hate these feelings

[hoppy26]

today is one of those days everyone hates having.

i feel so alone, useless, unwanted....etc, etc, etc. ive been thinking about the ex alot the past couple days. 6 months later i still feel the pain she caused me. i still feel like i was in a sense raped. i feel i cant let myself get close to anyone. arghhhhhhhh. 26 years old.....why am i goiung through this crisis. isnt it supposed to be mid-life? my world came down around me and im having a very hard time getting myself back out.

i cant afford therapy, i cant talk to my family about it. i feel i have zeron purpose. I DO NOT HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS!!!!!!!! im just sick of this depression i battle everyday....alone. if only my ex knew what an affect she had on me. what do others do in this state of mind?

[diverp]

I think I know how you are feeling. My ex and I broke up after a relationship that started perfectly and then dragged out for 10 months. We got together and split about every month. Eventually she wouldn't see me because she was afraid of slipping back into the relationship. She called me once because she felt suicidal (from past life, not us). I was there for her for days. She started to see a therapist. Then she wanted no contact with me. Essentially I was there for her and she dumped me once she started to feel better. Ever since, I have gone through a cyclical depression. I can't concentrate at work. I feel like I am fooling myself when I finally start to feel a little better. How could the woman I love, who loved me, break it off with me like that? I have yet to understand why. However, I have read some things and it seems to help to try to make peace in my mind with her. Things like trying to understand what pain she felt. Trying to understand and piece together why she was hurting. And Why she felt I was the one who caused her pain. Depression does suck. My life isn't ever going to be the same, but maybe I can learn from it. All I can offer is that you are not alone in this. It happens often and it is unfortunate that we have to go through this. Just try to move forward and try a change in life. Try small things to make your routine different. It helps me a little.

[hoppy26]

thanks for the replies. i know im not alone. sometimes i wish enotalone had meetings.lol i could use some people around me who are going through similar situations. thankyou for your words. ill try to put them to use.

[diverp]

Hoppy, no problem at all. It helps to be able to talk with people who are going through the same things. If you want to talk about anything like this feel free to pm me.

[justme1]

I'm still healing myself and I feel your pain.

But sometimes you need some reality so here it goes...

 

WAKE THE bleep up!

Look in the mirror!

No ONE HEARS your thoughts.

Quit wasting your time on this person.

There are millions of women in the world.

Stand up and take control of your life.

Cut contact with person.

Is she comforting you? NO!

Will she? NO

MOVE ON AND LIVE.

 

Don't be angry, be in control and be strong.

Splash some cold water in your face.

You are 26 and when you are 36 you will look back on this and laugh.

 

Lasty, enjoy some pink floyd lyrics

 

Coming Back to Life

(David Gilmour)

 

Where were you when I was burned and broken

While the days slipped by from my window watching

Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless

Because the things you say and the things you do surround me

While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words

Dying to believe in what you heard

I was staring straight into the shining sun

 

Lost in thought and lost in time

While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted

Outside the rain fell dark and slow

While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime

I took a heavenly ride through our silence

I knew the moment had arrived

For killing the past and coming back to life

 

I took a heavenly ride through our silence

I knew the waiting had begun

And headed straight...into the shining sun

[hoppy26]

justme1............i find myself singing those same lyrics in the shower. great song. great band.

 

i understand what you are saying. i might look back and laugh but i will never forget these past 6 months of complete confusion. life does move on, i understand that. thankyou for your post.