Good idea or not?

[sm1ley]

Hey, its my first time posting something on this website. I found out about it through a friend and she said it was a good site to look for some advice. Anyway, I got this little problem. There was this girl that I met at this place, we both like each other a lot but our age difference and her mom wont let us hook up. So will it be a good idea, if me and her just stay friends? Cuz i really feel bad that were not gonna be hooking up but if we cant be together, we might as well be friends right?

[hollygolightly]

Hmm...this is tought one. Very limited info there.

 

Besides the mom, why can't the two of you hook up? And why doens't the mom want you guys to date?

 

I the reasons behind those questions are acceptable, I say, be friends. You never know what THAT could lead to later on in life.

[sm1ley]

Its the age difference between us two which is 6 years apart. I know shes interested in me and im interested in her, but I just dont want her out of my life, so the best thing we can do is just be friends. I just turned 20 and shes turning 15 soon. I look very young for my age, i look like im 17 and she looks old for her age like shes 16 or 17. Anyway, is becoming just friends the best thing that can happen out of this? Or will it become more of a problem? Thanks in advance.

[tired and sleepless]

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but your mom may be right about this one. While I can understand the two of you maybe having good conversations and such, you may want different things out of life. You may be more into planning a life for yourself while she is still enjoying her high school and figuring out who she is as a person. Also, it would not be fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who may be ready for more in the way of a physical relationship that she is. Even if you are very understanding it is still likely that she will feel presured into doing things because she assumes it is what you want.

[tired and sleepless]

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but your mom may be right about this one. While I can understand the two of you maybe having good conversations and such, you may want different things out of life. You may be more into planning a life for yourself while she is still enjoying her high school and figuring out who she is as a person. Also, it would not be fair to her to be in a relationship with someone who may be ready for more in the way of a physical relationship that she is. Even if you are very understanding it is still likely that she will feel presured into doing things because she assumes it is what you want.

[hollygolightly]

wow. well, the age difference is a bit long. I think you should listenn to the mom on this one. I don't know what state or country you are from, but in my state, having sex with someone younger than 18 is illegal. (that is of course if the two of you are under 18).

 

How much in commom could a 20 yr old have with a 14 yr old? Sorry, dude, but this one is simple.

 

Move on, forget about being friends. Just move on and find a fine mama your age.

 

lots of luv!

[lokagirla]

sorry, long reply... hope it helps!

 

look, im gonna give some personal info here.

im 15 yrs old and i have been dating a 21 yr old for a month now.

well, it is exactly the same physical stuff as yours. i look older and he looks like hes 16... short in height, thin, baby face...

i've always been .. how do i say this... kinda weird lol... i go out with him and i'm not boasting or telling friends to make him an item... thaz stupid. i've been in serious relationships before and ive learned not to jump quickly into stuff. i think about saying "i love you" a lot... why? cause girls at my age say that phrase as if they had just picked it out of the air... i like to be completely sure thats what i feel.... and u know... ive never said it completely seriously... i strongly believe this "love" feeling is experienced when you are with that person you want to be with forever. when im not dating seriously i have fun flirting... im 15!... and i see my friends... i could never imagine them dating guys older than 17... i would give them such a lecture... at times they seem so vulnerable to me... i want to be there protecting them... and i know i have to step back most of the time and let them commit mistakes *like parents do*... but it's so hard... cause you cant let them make errors without telling them first... warning them... are u gettin the pic here? you have to think so much.... how will you affect this girl.... she will leave her life.... u have to imagine youre her dad.... it would be so hard to give my daughter OR SON ... the trust... at that age.. to let them date adult people... think... havent you seen posts here? girls sayin guys are asking them to move with them... i read her age was 16!!! can you imagine that... filling someone's head with abstract dreams... telling someone you will marry him/her... letting them floating in lala land. and sex!

 

i know you dont need to be with an adult to be exposed to sex... why? cause i have been exposed to it ... im 15 ... by who? a 17 year old. ive never had real sex *no penetration* cause im too cautious for that. see? i kinda think too scientifically... it's not about morality to me... or psychology... not being prepared... or what if my reputation... whatever... but i do think "theres probability in everything"... not only pregnancies... illness... viruses !!! AAhh. unhealthiness... that gives me the creeps.. because you had sex? k, ive been exposed.... ive been f.i.ngered.... yeh... and guess what... the one who did it WAS NOT AN ADULT. and ive gone out with plenty. but ive grown as a person... u have to get streetwise... and ive learned... at this age... sex ruins everything... people get frustrated... the low self esteem stuff... ive seen that stuff.. my school is an all girls school... now i know better than that... at this age... my 21 yr old boy has NEVER done any sexual act with me... or suggested that we do any... and thats fine cause we are getting closer in a more emotional level...

 

i have great communication with my parents. i tell them everything from old to new people in my life. it was hard for me to tell them about this guy cause at first i didnt wanna date him *i had this feeling deep inside* it wasnt that i was insecure about myself... i just thought it was so wrong for me to be dating at this age such an older man even if he looks my age... even if i can get him into my parties and peers not having a clue about his real age. i know there are different interests... and even if i have pretty steady views in my life, the older partner is still nearer to their goals. university life is so different from high school life... not only that... jobs..even if it is part time... many people my age dont realize the value of money... how hard it is to work for it... spending wisely.. being economic... i do cause although i havent had an official job i have worked for my aunt... bathing her 10 dogs, washing her 3 cars, working as a partial gardener... it was hard work... and i earned my money. jobs make ya mature in a way also. ask yourself all this stuff... does she see the real world with all it's problems... is she willing to confront them?

 

as soon as i said to myself "damn, im interested in this boy, i want to date him and really see what hes all about" i went to my parents told them. i went out with him... liked him.. and i kept talking to him on the phone/msn... and when i said.. i think i want somethin special here i told my parents about him and told him to come over so they could know him. when i told my dad at first he got a little paranoid... thats completely normal... he probably thought the guy had proposed or something... who wouldnt... i mean... a 21 yr old.. with a 15 yr old? so many experiences at 21... and youre just gettin to know the world at 15. maybe im wrong about dating this guy. it's not the same to be 20 and dating a 26 yr old guy. different stages boy... so be wise..

 

i dont like to think im MORE mature like so many guys have told me. i am down to earth thats all... i dont like to have stupid ideas in my head.. or fairy tales substituting my life. my closest friends i can count... and they know im very strict with my views. i like to be firm, yet open minded... and yeah, guys tend to be attracted to my energetic being.

 

sometimes, some people need more time...

laws have their reason of existence.. theyre just not decorating... they try to protect a majority in the society... not every girl knows about all these serious circumstances... thats why all we see is people taking advantage of others... you think : 21 yr old with 15 yr old.... SEXUAL PREDATOR!!! thats what comes to mind... and it's true in a way... stadistics... psychology...

 

REMEMBER: a girl can talk smart... that doesnt mean shes mature.

and so many restrictions... laws... with this protective

barrier... it's hard for them to get into your world... if they do

completely, then they are skipping a stage of their lives... a

great stage.

 

so my advice, be careful, be very careful... and beware... responsible parents are clever... they were not born yesterday.

 

ask yourself... "what do i really FEEL?" "WHAT about her drives me crazy?" "can i see a FUTURE MS RIGHT there?" and dont go too far either... it's not like youre marrying her tomorrow... just think "what makes her a candidate?" take it easy.

 

you must be sleeping by now... but oh well.

[angel_n_chainz]

 

REMEMBER: a girl can talk smart... that doesnt mean shes mature.

Hmm.. yeah!?!

 

Anyway.. as far as Your Post, All I can Say Is Stick to Being Friends For Alittle While, and See Where Things Go From There.. Who knows Maybe After Awhile Her Mom Will Open and Possibly Change Her Views of You Two Dating. Im Saying From Experience Cause I, Myself am 16 and My Bf is 21 and We've Been Dating For a few Months Now But Have Known Each other For a Few Yrs and At First My Mom Wasnt To Fond of The Idea of Me Dating Someone 5 1/2 yrs Older then Me but As We Started Getting Closer and Becoming More Then Friends My Mom Slowly Opened Up To The Fact of Us Dating and Now She Approves Completely and She Gets Along With my Bf. So Like I and A Few Others Have Said.. Just Kinda Stay on the D/L For Awhile Before Jumping Into a Relationship, B/c You Can Get Into Some Serious Trouble Even If You Dont Do Anything, and That You Should Really Think about, Ya Know.. and Who knows More Could Come Out of It.. Anyway Good Luck and Hope Everything Works Out For Ya.

 

~ Angel ~