I'm all confused about something..help!!

[musicguy]

Here's the story. My fiancee is taking a graduation test (apparently this is test that you need to pass in order for you to graduate from high school, I never had to take one of those) but anyway. She's told me in the past and even now that she's not happy where she lives I'm in AZ, she's in Alaska.

She has 7 months until she graduates and I have about 5 months until I grad. from my tech school. Since the "incident" (I have no idea if you all have read that post yet, about her getting raped last week). Well that incident has brought us much closer together and she's telling me she wants to be with me because she knows she'd be a lot safer and a lot happier down here. She refers to "home" as anywhere I am, so she tells me she wants to come home soon. My problem I don't know what to do. I mean I want her to make the right decision for herself, her mom told her that she could do whatever she wants to do. Her decision is to move to AZ ASAP to be with me, but she isn't making the effort to do so. Argh!! I'm just going to wait patiently until she gets here..cuz I'm not going to control her life or her decisions, if she wants to stay back then that's what she wants to do and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

I hope that this didn't confuse you.

 

musicguy

[avman]

Hi there. I remember your previous posts.

 

Realize that after what she has been through she is very traumatized (sp?). If she told you this is what she wants and this is what you want too you might need to really help her with things. Can she take the graduation test down there? Maybe she doesn't have to wait 7 months. Maybe she needs you to do some checking for her to help out. Ask her how you can help. She feels unsafe (understandable under the circumstances) and may need you to shield her from things for a little while.

 

I know you don't want to control her and that is very admirable. But you may need to take the lead on some things temporarily - I wouldn't call that 'controlling'.

 

Hopefully I didn't confuse things even more.

[musicguy]

Avman, thanks for being here for me and my fiancee. You didn' confuse at all with your reply. I have been helping out by trying to find a school down here. I'm TM'ing her right now and she told me that she wants to go away... and she just took her test and she doesn't know right now if she passed or not. I know that she's not happy up there!!!

[avman]

Well it sounds like the two of you are doing very well considering the circumstances. You seem to be doing all the right things and trying to make things better for her. She is lucky to have you.

[musicguy]

Yeah we are doing good. Right now it's in these troubled times it's all about her. She's going thru a much more painful experience than I am, yet it does affect me. I'm lucky to have her cuz I know how beautiful of a person she is and I know that she's been thru a lot since I met her years ago, I mean we have been thru are ups and downs and we have gotten thru them. I just worry about her a lot ya know.