razer Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 hi, im new here, recently i have had to face the biggest trial of my life, and i still am doing, i have just spent almost exactly a year going out with my dream girl....we were so mushy together, and i loved her so much, i konw it sounds sad, but i forgot everything for her, my friends, my family, my schoolwork etc, and i thought that if anything, she loved me even more than i loved her - the thing is i am in so much pain, i have been literally writing about screaming, this girl was my entire life, and the fact that after such a perfect relationship full of love she can turn round and say its over, everything i do reminds me of her, at xmas im going to think about how she told me we'd snuggle up next to a fire under a blanket, and bonfire night ill remember how she said we'd sit at the bonire watching the fireworks go off, i look around the walls of my room and i see the poems she wrote for me, the thing is..it just seemed so perfect to me, she was my princess..my angel, my buuful...etc etc - and then she just tells me she doesnt feel same anymore, the things is i HAVE to get her back so badly, cos if i dont i feel i wont ever recover, i can truthfully say my year with her was the best year of my life, and yesterday my dreams ended, and my world came crashing down around me, and the bottom has been removed from my world, and i am falling, falling.... any advice on how i can get her back? she says she still loves me and cares for me, just not enough - its hurts so badly. Link to comment
Prince Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Ok. Dude. first thing. i am on your side, maybe i'll explain later, but I'm in the same boat, only not (I'm confusing you). Tell me. How did you break up? I need everything. (just answer by replying to your own post) Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 on tuesday she told me we were over, i mean, i thought it was a joke, then i realised it wasnt i broke down, she then said its all ok etc, and shes been acting weird till yesterday, where i got it from her straigth that she didnt want a relationship with me anymore..damn man it hurts so much, people are telling me to move on and i think the yare insane, just thinking about other girls makes me feel ill - i just need her back more than anything, i havent eaten since tuesday now, and its saturday morning, but i dont feel hungry..i feel loss, numb, and burning with pain... Link to comment
Prince Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Ok. But did she specify why she wanted the breakup? It sounds insane. To go from complete admiration and affection. Did you notice anything strange about her behaviour? If not. Is there a reason she may have broke it off. If you answer this one I can probably help properly. Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 i know she loved it when everything was perfect between us, but i cant help thinking at her age she wasnt ready for what i wanted, ive always been very mature and in need of love, but man, we were so perfect together, we were engaged and everything, i just wanna die right now - and i need her back, its just all i need and want so badly. Link to comment
Prince Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Okay. Firstly. I am kinda in the same situation. This girl whom I loved and loved me for months now wanted to end it. (things are different now, but thats irrelevant). She was younger than me, and despite the fact I would consider her very mature, she felt I was asking to much from her. She told me she would end up hurting me when things didn't turn out the way we'd planned. But my god I can't live with out her. Dude, I'll be honest. Theres no magical spell or any amount of dreaming that will bring her back. If you love her than you probably don't want to pressure her anyway. But I will say this. You have to talk to her properly. The real deal. You have to sit her down and ask her to explain truthfully. You don't know the full story- anything may have happened. She owes you that much. It's all you can do really. And if she really loves you, she'll be back when she realises what shes lost. If she doesn't come back, then she was never really yours. But remember, that what ever happens, she GAVE YOU THE GIFT of the best year of your life. And no matter what happens next, you have experienced what some people never will in a lifetime. Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 i just dont have a choice, she is the only thing capable of making me happy, and i cant get away from her, we go to same school, we have same classes in some subjects, dude i need her so badly, she promised me we'd always be togehter, i clsoe my eyes and i see me and her cuddling and smiling, looking into eachothers eyes, and i just want her back so so badly. Link to comment
Prince Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 oh. and eat. eat and eat. and if you got any other problems, write me a private message. what you going through must be hell. do something to take your mind off her. But make sure you find out why she feels this way. hang in there... Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 it just seems t ome ive lost everything, she was so beautiful, loving, kind, warm, and i miss her smile, and i miss her hug, all ive done is cry, and cry, and cry some more, i dont think you realise just how close i was to her, she was my entire world, nothing else matters, she was my life...so if shes not there i am dead, i feel dead, id never kill myself, im soo much of a chicken, but ive been begging god to do it, i cant cope at all without her, we did the cutest things, we used to pretend her nose was called mushroom and it talked and had a high pitch squeaky voice, mine was called strawberry and ushroom and strawberry wanted to get married too, she made the lovliest things for me, we were never apart, always with eachother, day/night + hell, we even sneaked into same bedroom at night and slept in same bed, and yes, i lost my virginity to her, i gave her everything, and she has left me now with nothing, and still, i just want her back so badly Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 please, does anyone just know how i can get her back? *begs, cries* Link to comment
Prince Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 dude. your right. I'll never understand how close you were. but then only you can. hang in there Link to comment
Prince Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 get her back? No I can't do that for you. She holds the keys. So talk to her. thats all I can say. Face to face. and you'll know Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 *sobs, cries* i just want her in my world again, i wish i knew what to do, im almost certian there is a path that will bring us together again, but how do i know what it is? Link to comment
materia_goddess Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 hey there razer. im sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend. i dont really have any experience in this field, but i do know what it feels like to be so down, that the crack in the wall starts looking like a nice place to be. this girl obviously doesnt understand your worth, and her weird behaviour is proof of this. i know you want her back, and that although you hear it a million times that there are others out there, you feel she's REALLY your one and only. it will take time, but you will heal. she might come back, and she might not. you've just got to remember everything happens for a reason. perhaps this is a sign that something better awaits around the corner. just dont give up, and dont do anything extreme. everything works out for the best..........just hang in there! *hugs* ~if you ever need someone to talk to you can always pm me~ Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 i just have to rekindle her spark for me, somehow *cries more..keels over* Link to comment
Nate Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Think of it this way - you are still young be thankful she ended it now instead of 10 years from now when you are married with kids. You were way too dependant on one another - I made the same mistake with my girlfriend of 1.5 years that broke up with me a few weeks ago. Make a list of all the good things that will come from the breakup - everyone has pet peeves about their boyfriend/girlfriend. Try and look at all the good things that come from breaking up. For me I'm happy that I can now voice my opinion to others if I am not happy about something (like at a resturant or somewhere) my girlfriend hated any type of confrontation and would never let me complain about anything, I really hated that because I wasn't able to stand up for myself because she was afraid of confrontations with other people. About a month before we broke up I was driving her home and some kids threw an egg at my car hitting my drivers side window - at first I didn't know what it was but let me tell you I was so close to turning around to follow them and I would have had she not been in the car but by then she had me "trained" so well that I didn't do anything. Eventually she became ok with trying to get their liscense plate number but it was too late to find them. Use this breakup as your fuel to make YOU stronger. Read that again. Start eating right, lift weights, exercise - do any thing you can to improve yourself. You'd be surpised how much running helps - I run 3 miles every other night and I use the breakup as my fuel.. it also helps, for me at least, to picture a drill sergeant yelling at me as Im pushing myself to run since Im going into the military - something I never would had done were we still together, why?, DEPENDANCY. My girlfriend started out really needy and insecure but at the end of the relationship she had changed into a strong confident young woman while I had lost a lot of confidence and became very dependant on her I actually remember at one point - probably a year or so into our relationship - saying "I need you" when we were talking about something. It seemed to bother her a bit and it threw me off guard too as I didn't even realize I had said it until it was too late. The point I am trying to make is relationships where one person or both are needy don't seem to work as one person usually grows with time while the other does not. Girls want someone that has confidence and they absolutely do NOT want someone that is needy. A few weeks from now you will be feeling much better. I'm not saying you might not get back together - just prepare youself for the worst. Work on YOU - dont call her, dont try to contact her. If you call her, write her or whatever you will come off as even MORE needy and you will push her away forever. Take this time to take control of your life. Good luck Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 all i have to blame is myself, i gave her everything, my heart, my love, my virginity, my soul, my thougths, everything - without her i feel hollow Link to comment
brosiamarie Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Maybe I can help you from the other perspective I just ended a relationship and I know I caused him alot of hurt and pain I mean I made him sick he went through panic attacks and as much as its hurts me to know that I did that because he is the one person I never wanted to hurt. but you must remember I am as well in pain and I am sure she is hurting inside as well its take alot of strength to decide to end a relationship. Who knows I am sure she is confused and doesnt even know if she has made the right decision. You both need to be honest with each other maybe she is going through something that she cant even explain. It sounds like you really care for her and love her with all of your heart. My reasons for ending my relationship may be different from hers, but I ended it because I didnt think we were meant to be even if I love him with all my heart and soul. I guess I will end this by saying if it is meant to be then you and her will find a way back to each other. My advice to you is dont ever give up show her how you care go that extra mile. dont give up like I did. Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 thanks, i wont ever give in, i went to her house today, gave her a rose, and some choclates, she told me she just doesnt want a relationship with me at the moment - she says we will be best friends, so i will work at it, we will go out together as friends, and eventually (2-3 months) ill ask her how her feelings are, and if she wants to try it again. Link to comment
brosiamarie Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Be careful cause this may just bring you more pain in the long run. Because old habbits are hard to break and seeing her can just make the pain worse. hopefully you guys can take that step back and remain friends and go from there. Link to comment
razer Posted October 4, 2003 Author Share Posted October 4, 2003 ill keep that in mind Link to comment
razer Posted October 5, 2003 Author Share Posted October 5, 2003 i just really really need her back..dont think i can live without her really Link to comment
razer Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 so any idea how i can get her back? some think i should give her space or i might push her away, others say i should smother her with attention and love before she gets used to not being with me, i just dont know Link to comment
meanlady1 Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 Hi Razor, I am so sorry for you, i know this sudden breakup has a great impact on you since you have been so close. But isn't this life all about ? Isn't this the way how we suddenly grow up even stronger? Everything happens for a reason, accept it, take what may come. Probably you don't wanna know the reason why breakup, sometimes we just leave the things as they were, we don't have to try so hard to find the answer, because truth will speask itself one day. It is ok to feel extremely sad and grief, it is nature and it is very necessay. It is a life journey you have to go through. After that you will be fine, you will be strong. You have to believe that. Razor, remember you are not alone, there are so many people in this world suffering for a bad relationship or evern worse ( I was there).so, be a tought guy! you will win! Love Meanlady Link to comment
meanlady1 Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 OH .Razor, By the way, i will tell you to stop "begging" her back and don't say she is the most perfet one for you ( she is not, she is mean to you) There are so many better girls out there waiting for you. Stop begging her back like little a little boy! you are a man with self esteem and diginity! remember! Love a litte meanlady Link to comment
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