damn why am i like that!!!!!

[materia_goddess]

woah, dont meaning to be a huge hypocrite, but a few minutes ago my brother brough a few of his friends around by surprise, and i freaked out!!!

 

long story short (not very short, but long story's longer), i feel i have a great personality, i love to be funny. but for this to happen i need to feel comfortable with the person first. my brother, ever since he started law, has made some real high class friends who are millionaires and have very high standards. my brother is the outlier, who does not have this life style, but he gets on with them great.

i dont have the best self esteem, and i have a problem believing in myself (even though i feel, and tell people, this is key!).......im very shy at first with people, although its NOT me! once yu know me im loud and out going. well anyway, before i said i would meet his friends for the first time i wanted to lose weight, make sure i looked my best, and gained confidence to be who i really was. well this house call freaked me out big time.

 

and surprise surprise it ended just as i thought it would. they probably think im an idiot. as i mentioned they have high standards and from what i hear, they go by looks alot. well it was the typical shy convosation.

 

i walk out in my pink pj's .....all figity and nervous, say hi with this REAL shy grin on my face, shake hands, smile smile smile, and back away into my room. the problems not exacally this, but the whole time i was angry with myself for not being me. i wish i had confidence...........i really wanted to make a good first impression, but i screwed up big time.

 

DAMN!! im also VERY self-conscious........the whole time i could see myself, being and looking like an idiot. i also worry about my looks and weight. ive been working real hard lately to get it off, coz im desperate to be slim. im assured that im not fat, but i cant help but look at other girls on the street, then look at me and my self esteem drops 20 points.

 

i know its a hard one to solve.......how can you tell someone how to be themselves.......its up to me i know, but why couldnt it just be easy! i mean its who i am isnt it!!!

[redparadise78]

DOn't blame urself for being shy and wanting to look ur best around these guys..but seriously..love urself..of course every woman is self-conscious but u know what that is our nature..strunt ur stuff girl...whatever u look like ur personality is what is going to make u beautiful and if a guy looks at you and judges u by ur looks then u know what...u don't want a vain..shallow guy who will credit u for what is only on the outside. We are all beautiful although we may not be appreciated by others appreciate urself..u are your toughtest critic.

[Prince]

Don't stress. I am the same. I have gotten better over the last few months but I still get anxious and nervous when meeting new people. From what I hear you don't have a problem. Though I understand how frustrated you must be- it is damn frustrating. I usually spend the entire day thinking about how I will greet someone I am about to meet, or someone I find intimidating.

 

Being shy is the pits. It's like some kinda curse. But I asure you that the next time you meet your brothers friends, it will be easier. And before you know it you'll feel comfortable. I am the same in that I have people I know really well, and those peole know the real me well. And everyone elses sees me as a stuttering, unconfident individual who can't maintian eye contact for more than 2 seconds. But hey, don't stress, because the people that really matter are the people who no the real you.

 

If your shy person when meeting people, don't stess. Cause give it time and comfort follows.

 

Ps: I'm a billion times more shy. It took me several months to even talk casually to co-workers when I got my job at the grocery store.

[materia_goddess]

thankyou for your replies. they really do help!

 

being shy is the pits. especially when you know its not the real you. its a shame you cant just wear a sign saying this so everyone knows. it was all a bit sudden for me before, but im ok now. i guess in time i might beable to change it. but for now im just gonna grin and bear it!

 

~thanks again!~

[OmegaMan]

Hello materia,

 

I loved your quotes and so I decided to reply to this as this is something I can relate to and thus understand.

 

I can completely understand how you say you like being funny. Here's what I think, if you consider funny, why not crack a joke just to break up the ice? How would you feel about that? I requires guts but humor is the key to all relationships I think. Then it would only come easier for you to be funny and feel good and comfortable with people.

 

i dont have the best self esteem, and i have a problem believing in myself (even though i feel, and tell people, this is key!).......im very shy at first with people, although its NOT me! once yu know me im loud and out going. well anyway, before i said i would meet his friends for the first time i wanted to lose weight, make sure i looked my best, and gained confidence to be who i really was. well this house call freaked me out big time.

 

 

Why is it that he best of us always seem to bout themselves? I think the future lies not with those who believe to know the answers, but rather in those who are constantly troubled with questions. It's pretty hard to be satisfied at any one point, but it's up to you to decide wether or not you are fine the way you are or want to wait later on. The problem is, as time goes by, you'll always wait to be ``better`` to allow yourself to have some self-esteem. See where I'm getting at? Don't wait, see yourself as something in becoming. Don't give yourself the right not to like you. YOU are the masters of your thoughts, LEAD them.

 

and surprise surprise it ended just as i thought it would. they probably think im an idiot. as i mentioned they have high standards and from what i hear, they go by looks alot. well it was the typical shy convosation.

 

And you know what? You were probably pissed off afterwards because you didn't allow yourself to be who you are. I'm pretty sure at time you wanted to be yourself, as if your very being was about to come out right through your mouth but you held it back.. and felt bad afterwards. Self-affirmation, that's what it's all about. Shyness is the wall that's preventing you to be who you want to be, time to break down that wall.

 

I kind of smile when I read the whole story about pink pyjamas . I thought it was just a funny situation, in fact, some time from now, you'll probably talk about this event and laugh about it. You said you wish you had confidence, tell me though, who can decides wether you have it but you?

 

DAMN!! im also VERY self-conscious........the whole time i could see myself, being and looking like an idiot. i also worry about my looks and weight. ive been working real hard lately to get it off, coz im desperate to be slim. im assured that im not fat, but i cant help but look at other girls on the street, then look at me and my self esteem drops 20 points.

 

I can understand that. Girls have problem with their weigth and it's turning into a societal flail. I don't think anything I say will change anything about this one. Next time around, why don't you concentrate on what is said then think about what you look like? I act like that sometimes and I can't come up with something to say. But It's not because I don't have anything to say, it's because I think of what I'm going to say next and instead of following my instinct.

 

I think it's hard not be ourself because we don't want anyone not to like us, so we rather stay neutral than be ourself, that way, there are no risks involved. But how can someone like someone who is neutral? Jst be yourself, some people won't like how you are, but that's their problem, you can't start changing to everyone's standards can you? Some people will love you for what you are though, and that's what's great about it.

 

And everyone elses sees me as a stuttering, unconfident individual who can't maintian eye contact for more than 2 seconds. But hey, don't stress, because the people that really matter are the people who no the real you.

 

This is pure bliss to me eyes. Wonderful and quite a display of courage. You're right, they can make opinions and judgements, but does it really matter after all? As they are judging something that you aren't, so, come to think of it, why should you care.

 

I think this will help you if you decide it can.

 

Omega Man,

 

Etienne