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Do couples that get back together stay together?


cobro
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Its been awhile since I've posted here. In the last 2 months my ex has managed to come back into my life and now we find ourselves dating again. The story starts when she dumped me after 1 1/2 years at the beginning of the summer to go back to her ex boyfriend. They only lasted a few months because they fought all the time and her treated her badly. She broke up with him, about the same time I broke up with the girl I was dating (rebound girl). So we both found ourselves single again and started hanging out, just as friends. Well the "friends" progressed into more, she confessed she feels stupid for dumping me in the first place, she really loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life with me, she thought about me the entire time she was with him, and that she knows I am the "one". So now I'm in a tough situation. She's throwing herself at me, but can I trust her? I started to regain the trust slowly over the last month or so, until this weekend. This weekend she went out and was unable to get a ride home, so she called everyone. The last person she called was her ex boyfriend from this summer, the guy she dumped me for. He was unable to pick her up, thankfully. By doing that, I lost all trust that I had built up over the last month. I just can't seem to trust her. It's not that I'm afraid she will cheat on me, I'm more afraid of her changing her mind once I'm really into her, deciding that I'm not the "one" and breaking up with me. So trust is holding me back. I am nothing but nice to her, I have never hurt her and never will. But if I can't ever trust her, and I want to, I will have to make a decision if this is the woman I want to marry and have children with. I really want it to work between us, but I am hesitant to make any commitment towards her. To make the situation more complicated, she contracted an STD from her ex. She was clean when we were together. It is a non-life threatening STD. Well I made the stupid mistake of sleeping with her, so now I probably have the STD. In her mind, she probably thinks that no one else will want her since she has this. Now if I have it, we have something in common that would keep us together. Sounds sick, but I wouldn't doubt it. I don't know. Can trust be regained on my part? I really love her, but trust is holding me back, the fear of her leaving me again once I get comfortable with her. Is this normal? What can I do about it? I've already confronted her about it, and she says she will never hurt me again and she wants to be with me forever. Can I believe her?

 

cobro

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It all depends.

 

 

I do not think having an STD is something that should keep you guys together. Well it is to late now, go get tested for HIV ect.

 

I do not know what to tell you, she dumped you for a guy who was a cheat that slept with nasty sluts with STD's. I remember you from before and you seemed like a good guy, I still do not understand why she would want to leave you. Well she made her bed now she has to sleep in it.

 

I think things may work out, but if she did this to you once she may do it again.

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Thanks for the replies so far. She is a great girl, but I just can't trust her yet! I want to soo bad, but she is wishy washy sometimes. Recently her ex that she broke up with me for has been calling her, every other week or so. She tells me right away, trying to be honest with me. She even called him back when he left a message for her. Hmm. She claims their conversations are completely platonic, I just don't believe her. I am seriously wondering if she still has feelings for him, she says she doesn't. I can't tell her not to talk to him. She also got a new weekend job at a bar, getting off at like 3am. That worries me, I really have a bad feeling about that. The bar scene. The "friend" ex. I've told her how I feel about these situations, but I get the vibe that she doesn't care about my opinion. Again, I can't tell her what to do. I mean, why would she care about how I feel, she got me back and probably thinks she can get away with anything, I'll always be there for her. She still says she wants to marry me, but not as often, actually it's very rare now that we talk about our future together, she claims we don't need to talk about it all the time. I take it as her having commitment problems. I am noticing every action she does, every word she says to see if I think she might be having second thoughts about us. I hate doing that. For example, we have not been having sex, she says it's because she's not on birth control yet, but will be in one month after she goes to the doctor, then we can start. Of course I take us not having sex as her not being attracted to me, I've brought it up but she says the pill is the only reason. Somedays she won't say "i love you" at all to me, I don't know if she's aware of that or not, I sure notice. If I'm in love, I like to let the other person know, at least once a day. So that is what I'm dealing with. Paranoia basically. I hope everything works out, but I fear it won't and I'll be stuck with a broken heart and and hopefully that's all. Does this sound normal?

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Maybe you are putting too much pressure on this girl. Just calm down, there is really nothing you can do. She may just feel smoothered by you.

Also if this girl gave you an STD why would you go back for more unprotected sex with her. I say stick with the condoms for at least 6 months until you both are tested for HIV.

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