I am trying to get myself to NOT want her back...

[Burb]

Girlfriend of two years breaks up with me, we were taking each other for granted, neither was really working at the relationship, it wasn't bad, just not great. I made the classic mistakes for the first week, then got off my rear and started working out, going out, and now am extremely happy with who I am. She dealt with it by rebounding, due to her inability to be alone. Her friends tell me that the relationship is nearing it's end. (They had a wedding to go to, and are currently on a trip.)

 

I have seen her out at the bars a few times, and she is always extremely flirty, touching me, and even told me one night that she missed me. I didn't reciprocate, for the most part, in either instance. I have made no efforts to contact her unless she does so first, and even then I keep the conversation short.

 

We did have lunch once after I saw her at the bars, and we talked openly about everything: getting back together, how and if it would work, this new guy, etc.

 

I would wager that in the next week or so, she is going to break off the rebound relationship. I would then bet that she is going to try and get ahold of me.

 

My head tells me that this is a bad idea. She can't be alone, the way she treated her current bf, etc. She is acting completely different than she did when we were together.

 

My heart wants to get back together. I was doing so well, and then I had these stupid dreams that we were back together. Those really messed with me. For some reason I think that if we discuss her actions after we broke up then it would make it all ok. ](*,)

 

Am I being a complete idiot for wanting to try again with this girl? Is there any possible way for it to actually work? Thanks for the input, I would definitely not be where I am if it were not for ENA.

[macgyver4ever]

Burb,

 

You don't sound like an idiot, but it does sound like you need to find yourself more. You are enjoying your time away from her, and have learned a lot. My guess is that you have seen some reasons why you shouldn't be together again. Really think about it before you do anything, and don't jusmp to the conclusion that she is A) leaving her boyfriend, and B) Will then come back to you. You are setting yourself up for defeat, and if these things don't happen you will feel let down, and rejected.

 

If she does try to come back, talk to her. Be honest, that both of you need a little more time your own, to learn about yourselves. If you are 21, you have a whole world that just opened up to you, and it's better to explore it without a girl by your side.

 

Talk, be honest, and hopefully a little time apart will give you the space to learn about yourselves and be happy again.

[panchala23]

If you are trying to not want her back...that is easy!

 

You cannot control her, but you can control yourself. If you are aware enough to know you dont want to want her back, then that should tell you something about you not wanting her back. Know what I mean?

[Burb]

I don't think I'm necessarily jumping to conclusions; from everything I've heard (and seen, from both her and her friends) their relationship will end soon. And I'm not assuming she will be coming back to me, I guess I'm just trying to prepare myself for if she does. It may be a very real possibility, and right now I just have no idea what I would do.

 

I do think that your advice, macgyver, is really good. Unfortunately, I miss her a lot. It'll all work out (no matter what happens.) Thanks guys.