tougher than I thought

[mermayd]

I have been sober from alcohol, marijuana, and prescription pills for 7 months. I am 21 years old. My boyfriend and I are both sober, which makes it easier, but whenever we are around friends or in a social situation, I feel like just giving up. I keep having dreams that I am intoxicated and I am enjoying it very much. It's really hard to be sober at this age because all of our friends still party. I feel sorta left out when we go to a party and aren't drinking. I miss the carefree self that I was when I would drink or smoke. I feel like I'm not myself. But being sober has opened a lot of doors for me and made a great improvement on my life in an academic sense, in self-realization, and being able to hold on to friendships. I knw a lot of good has come from it. I am the type of person that if I told myself I would do it once in a while, I would turn around and make it a habit before I could blink my eyes. I just feel like I can't have any fun like the rest of my friends do and like my boyfriend and my activities are limited. What else do ppl do on the weekends? On their 21st bday? On new years? I guess what Im looking for are some suggestions (other than movies)...and maybe a little support....

[SwingFox]

You learn something new every day. I have seen a few postings before I never expected that you'd be into drinking and smoking that bad. That says something about your current status. I have seen a very intelligent young woman in you, writing a few really good statements to others and this message proves my impression again. You're doing really good and you look very caring and considerate. That's what happens to you when you are sober. You start to think clear and see things clear. I am sure that your current employer and the employers you have in future would love that idea, too.

 

I know that in a group it's hard to stay out of things. Have you ever considered to surround yourself with a different group of people and new friends that are not into drinking and smoking? Other things you could do? Hmmm... well I am a very romantic guy. So I could share what I like to do. I like staying at home and cuddle up to each other in the dark with just (sented) candles on. I also like to cook for my partner and make her feel special by telling how I exactly feel over her. I love going out on candlelight dinners. I also like to watch shows in a theatre. Ever thought of shopping, beach walks and/or camping in open nature? Really, the list is endless!

 

Have fun!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mermayd]

Thank you. I really appreciate your reply. My boyfriend and I have moved 500 miles away from home so we are being forced to meet new people. I am determined to find friends that won't pressure me and friends that have more subtance to them than only the subtance they are going to use tonight.... It is just hard to find that small handful of people in their early 20's that have the same perspective as my boyfriend and I. Most people still love to party. But we are in a more active town now and the ideas of what to do can be expanded beyond so-and-so's kegger. Thanx again!

[nutbrownhare]

Well done you! It can't have been easy, giving up all that lot! As Swingfox says, though, you'll probably find in time that you'll mix with a different crowd. I personally find that going dancing - I do several different types - gives me a high, without putting all that stuff into my body. I used to do a lot of acting, as well, which is superb fun because you get an adrenalin rush when you perform - again, without putting anything into your body. With both these activities you need to have your wits about you.

 

If you exercise at all, you very quickly notice the benefits of not smoking and drinking.

 

Hope this helps!