Why does he have to talk to his ex???

[buffalosoldier]

i was just wondering,is it really ok for your partner to talk to their ex?i feel as if ive been moaning about this for ages but i really would like to know.i know my boyfriend still talks to his ex though he trys to hide it from me,just wondering why you think he would do this?could it be suspicious?surely if they were dead set on being friends no matter what then he would have laid it on the line to me from the very beginning.do you think he's hiding it from me coz he knows it will upset me?

i just dont understand why people have to stay in touch with people that hurt them,i mean if it was only a brief relationship i could undertstand them wanting to be friends but it was long term which is what bothers me so much.am i being insecure?i dont talk to my ex's out of respect for my boyfriend.

i know this might sound really childish,forgive me if it does,but i was thinking about not paying as much attention to my bf as i usually do,playing a bit hard to get,seeing as a lot of men seem to want what they cant have,perhaps then he will show a bit more interest in me?what do you think?i was going to break up with him,if you have read my previous posts but i just dont know what to do,all im doing is postponing the pain arent i by carrying on.but he thinks theres nothing wrong.help!!!!!

P.S sorry for being bit of a man hater today

[buffalosoldier]

Sorry i didnt mean that every relationship ends on bad terms,i ment that HIS previous reltionship ended on bad terms.that b*tch cheated on him and god knows what else that is why i cannot understand it. i dont mean to generalise but men always seem to want what they cant have and its doing my head in.blokes talk about how women play mind games and all the rest of it but while there is a nice young woman that loves you to bits and will be there for you no matter what,you'd rather go for the challenge?i dont understand?guys please explain whats so exciting about wanting someone you cant have??

even if they are just 'friends' what kind of friendship is that if they have to hide it from their partners?and why would my boyfriend say nasty things about her if shes his friend?sorry but i really dont get this at all,guys please help me out here?im having great difficulty trying to work the male sex out recently!! ](*,)

[Shyguy24]

If you just browse in this site you would see so many postings like , want my x back and x called or wrote and stuff … facts of life its not easy to let go everything no matter what we get used to a person or a object leaves a impression on our brain .

 

I told you in a earlier post that what crap I went through from my last relationship ..conclusion shes not good for me not my type but would I go out with her again ..yeah I guess sure .. see the thing is that its not so much about her but the situation , we as humans don’t like it if things don’t work out the way we think that they should , so we get more fascinated with the idea of getting another chance in the same situation although more often than not things don’t work out.

 

I mean frankly speaking if I went out with my x today it would not be the same , because there was a reason why we broke up ..different kind of people , anyway comin back to the topic

 

Don’t sacrifice your happiness friends or anything if the other person is not willing to do the same , it wont work I mean you could jump of the cliff but he aint going to follow.

 

I could cry half my life away but it wouldn’t change anything ..because that’s the way it is . What you could do would be to slowly start getting into the habit of making a little less effort everyday , I mean don’t call him that often , control your actions to bare minimum get the pace of the relationship down go back to the basics , see if he calls more or does he make a effort . This will slowly get him out of your system make a effort to decrease your emotional dependency on him ..be strong.

 

Human relationships are very dynamic and not at all logical , they are based on emotions and nuthin logical about emotions .. so if you love someone dosent mean that person loves you , specially if you have doubts .

 

Try involving yourself in other things like do something for others join a charity or something that will increase your selfworth.. see if you are in a valley and he is on the mountain .. you are always going to be looking up at him and he always looking down at you .. relationships are for equals ..first go climb a mountain and see what he see’s

 

Good luck ,hun