Parents

[awesomedeen]

I have to admit that lately i have been having problems with my parents. I snuck out before and partyed, but now i got caught, I snuck out of the house at night when i was supposed to be sleeping and i took my car which i parked accross the street from my house. Instead of starting the car and driving off (it would wake my parents and they would see me) i put the car in nuetral and slipped it down the street camoflauged by the night. i then started the car and turned on the lights half a mile away from my house. I then drove down to a big party. I stayed till 4 am. I came back and my dad was waiting for me at the bottom of my street. I dont know how he knew i was out, but i knew i was going to get it. I am 17, and young. I am almost 18. My dad grounded me for one week from my car. I told him i will spend a couple of nights at a friends house and get away from my dad so we can respect each other. He said, "if you go out of the house, i will ground you even more," So my dad ended up dropping me off at my cousins house to study. I spent the night there. My dad said it is cool with him. We invited some chicks and had fun. Keep in mind that me and my parents dont get a long well. My dad wants me to pe a minister when i grow up like him, but i want to be a lawyer. I need to move out of my house so i can get freedom and a sense of worth. Today when i went to my colledge, i felt good, i had no parents to care about, i felt like a man, i met so many women in colledge and have as of now 4 phone numbers to hang tonight with me. What should i do? My parents want me home tonight, but i want to stay away from them for a little bit, they wont care if i do, but my parents will be upset at me. What would you guys do? I am thinking on staying at a girls house for 2 or 3 days, have sex do whatever, then come home later, then get a job and move out when i am 18 and live at a friends house for 100 dollars a month. I need a blue print of my future if you guys can help. My parents want to get me engaged this summer to a lady. But i am young. My dad says, "better get married before you fornicate and mess up someones life son," he calls me "satan" I cuss at god and christ all the time, I know my dad does not believe in some of the things in the bible. There are 1982 divisions in the bible and the gospels (if they exist) were created 63 years after jesus death. Jesus only had 12 followers and was betrayed. (just proving my atheisim).

 

got to go,

 

talk to me please.

[DREAM]

Woooow. Ok looks as tho you have a big problem, its hard to say when it comes to parents cos the always seem to have the upper hand, they think they know best. But not all the time, but you know what you would be surprised on how much they now its like they psychic or sometimes,

 

My advice would be 2 options

1: talk to them and tell them right up how you feel, cos you are 18 now and your own person how are you meant to learn if you don't experience it your self.

2: just be good for a few days do everything right by them and get in there good books and watch there change act like an adult in front of them shoW them your responsible and you never know they may start treating you like one too.

[mel_o_dell]

I went through something like that with my parents a few years ago. I wanted to move out and find my own life when i was 17... I couldn't stand living under their roof and their ridiculous rules. I received some good advice from a friend and behaved for awhile and stayed home a bit more, doing homework or whatever I could to stay away from them. I finally got to the point where I needed to be out of the house. I sat my parens down and told them exactly how I was feeling without letting them interrupt and start fighting with me. I told them everything I was feeling, not just about their rules and being sick of being at home, but about the frustrations I was dealing with about being a young adult. They didn't all of a sudden change their rules, but they gave me a little more freedom and realized that I was growing up whether they liked it or not. I am now still living at home, and even though sometimes they drive me nuts, they have given me the freedom of making my own life decisions and so forth. Your parents, after telling them your issues on the situation, will understand where you are coming from. It is a very slow process as parents want their kids to be under their rules so they don't make wrong decisions... but these decisions that you make on your own are the ones that make you the person that you are. Try letting them know that... hope i was some help... good luck with everything

[Ash]

All I can really say is you won't understand where your parents are coming from until you become one yourself.

 

Have you discussed the possibility of paying for room and board? If you want to be able to treat your house like a hotel, then perhaps coming to some kind of formal arrangement in the fashion would help?

 

Sound's like your pop is frustrated because he's not able to control you. I'm not saying he should control you of course, just trying to think where he's coming from. There may be no real solution if you live at home.

 

When I went back home in the summers while I was at university, it seemed so bizarre to have a curfew again.

 

Number one option if you can't work it out - find a place of your own. If that's not financially feasible, you'll have to come to some arrangement with your folks. What are your plans for secondary education? That may be in the cards anyway very soon depending on where you end up studying.

[Ingrid]

WITH RESPECT TO YOUR CAREER :

 

Being a lawyer is not a bad choice. It's not as if you wanted to be a bank robber. Being a lawyer is a reasonable, if not an excellent, choice.

 

You have constitutional rights, liberty among them. You have the right in the US or Canada, to do whatever you want as long as you don't hurt others. You have the constitutional right to become a lawyer, and your dad does not have the right to prevent you from doing so. If he does, he is in breach of your rights and his obligations towards you. Look on the Net for the United Nations document that lists the rights of children. Your dad might be acting unlawfully.

 

This does not mean that he has an obligation to finance your studies, however. You might have to finance your studies yourself, which could be rather hard, but I have friends who did it.

 

Ask your dad to explain to you why he wants you to be a minister and not a lawyer. Perhaps he thinks that being a lawyer is too harsh. May be he is really happy with his job. If he can't explain, there is something fishy.

 

You must be careful with subconscious guilt feelings that you may get from refusing to do what your dad wants (from "disobeying" him). They may interfere with your exercising your right to liberty. Example : My mom is a lawyer and she always wanted my to go to law school. Of course, I decided I was going to Med school (I needed probably to assert my freedom). After grad school I had all the necessary grades and courses to go to med school, but, guess what? I missed the deadline by one day!!!! I had to apply to law school because my parents had financed all my schooling and I did not want to die so young! I went to law school and I LOVED IT! It was the best mistake I made in my whole life. However, I have the feeling I miss the deadline to med school for reasons of subconscious guilt. What else could it be?

 

ISSUE OF GETTING MARRIED VERY YOUNG :

 

I understand why your parents want you to marry young. In the same vein as above, my parents had very good matches for me when I was your age, but, of course, I refused to listen and to get married.

 

After that, I could never meet guys as good as the ones my parents had found for me. I had long relationships, but the guys did not want commitment. I promised myself to be really careful after that, I dated my present bf six months before kissing! and yet I made another mistake: he never showed his true colours until I was really attached to him. Now I love him too much (in an instinctual, atavistic, animal and primitive way) to leave him, but I hate him too much to marry him (unacceptable values, hypocritical, selfish, etc.).

 

A lot of my male friends (99%) also got attached to wrong opportunistic uneducated women who got pregnant to trap them (90%) they married them and are very unhappy now.

 

Be careful with sex. A lot of women know this weakness of men and use sex in order to trap men like you, from a nice and educated background.

 

Weighing all the pros and cons, you should try to evaluate objectively the women that your parents want to introduce you to. Remember, every time you get in a relationship, even the most casual sexual relationship, while you are having sex your body releases certain hormones that make you attach to that person (pretty scary), there is a risk you will end up with the wrong person. This is why most couples are unhappy. Look for someone who is compatible with you.

 

Good luck!