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E-contact etiquette


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I recently joined an on-line dating facilty, more as a whim, than a deliberation. Joining allowed the curious (me) to search/browse the current membership, but I had to complete my own profile first, which was fair, and to enter into the spirit, I even uploaded a recent photo.


My intention was to have quick browse to see how that particular facility operated, and the nature of members available near my age group.


I had intended to message a couple of members who seemed to have compatible profiles, but I had a busy period coming up so I wasn't in a particular hurry to do that. I was quite surprised to find I had messages incoming. When I checked the messages I found I needed to upgrade my membership to actually read them, although I could read the profiles of the senders.


The profiles weren't too close to what I was looking for, there were no included photos (that member's choice) and there were various 'upgrade' rate options to consider.


I decided to leave the matter until I was less busy. Now I have a few options.


1) Message those few people with the compatible profiles (and pics), 'upgrade' initially for the minimum period (which can be extended if required) and also collect and reply to the incoming messages.


2) Generally as option 1) but 'upgrade' for a longer initial period (with some idea if that would be worthwhile).


3) Abandon that 'facility' and restart with something where basic 2 way messaging is included, and paid services have more specific and extensive value added features, rather than accessing messages. The 'abandon' downside is that the incoming messages remain forever 'ignored' (which I don't like, having too often been on the receiving end, so try not to do that).


4) A combination of 1) and 3) but just reply to the current incoming messages, and limit the 'upgrade' to the period neeeded to conclude that business.


I have previously joined more specialist (advertising sponsored) contact groups in the past which offered 3), although they were ultimately too specialised for my tastes.


As it stands the incoming messages status show as 'unopened', which could look like I'm deliberately ignoring them, although I haven't logged in since the messages arrived, so my profile shows no intermediate 'presense' (not inoring *and* browsing).


There's no indication of the 'messagers' status, so my returning their message may also involve them in 'uprade' expense (AFAIK you can send and receive messages in the 'standard' package, but only read the massages by upgrading).


I'd be interested in other's views on this. Is being 'ignored' an acceptable trade-off downside of e-contacting?



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Hi icarusi,


This situation is common. Sites sign you up, and then you can not check your messages, or even see them without paying for them. Some sites even send you the message themselves to make you think that there is one there, and to get you to sign up and more importantly pay.


When you join a site like this, the whole process and success is based upon communication. The site restricts your communication ability, and thus your success. So the bottom line is that you need to have "access all areas" to be very successful. Restrictions on your service, will cause restrictions in your results.


Also remember, that many of the other members are in the same boat. They could get a message from you, and not check it as they found out about the "scam" and then never visited the site again. I've done that myself, and never check the site at all.


So - your question : Is being 'ignored' an acceptable trade-off downside of e-contacting?


That depends if you are willing to accept it !!! It is a downside, and inevetibly it is you that looses out on an oppertunity because of the restrictions - well, you and your potential e-partner that is !!!!

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