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I found my 8 yr old son in an odd situation yesterday and this is the very first for me so it's a bit devastating to that. It was the first time he has seen his cousin, who is 5, in about 5 months, this cousin has lived a very rough life and to my knowledge has been exposed to many things a boy his age shoud not be exposed to. I found them in my sons bed playing with each other. I did not say anything as the situation happened because I'm not sure the my sister-in-law was aware of it. When I questioned my son about it later on last night he told me that his cousin told him when they were outside playing "let's go have sex", to my knowledge my son has no idea because he's never been exposed to this. Needless to say, when it got later and they did go inside they were watching tv in my sons room and that's when my nephew told my son again "let's have sex" and my son said he got on top of him and started kissing him. Next, is my problem, my son then pulled his own pants down, when I asked him about this he said his cousin told him to and he kept insisting on kissing him. Now, I've never encountered any problems like this with my son prior to this incident and I'm not sure if I should be concerned or just let his go that mabe it was the situation my son was in. My son spends alot of time with alot of different children and it scares me to death if it could happen again and I mentioned that to him last night when we talked about it but also the other thing I'm trying to keep in mind is that this never happened until yesterday when he was with this cousin who he probably won't see again for several months. Any suggestions? Also I'm not sure exactly how to talk to my son and how much to say I tried to only talk about what happened and told him that it was very bad and better never happen again. Any suggestions in case he would talk to me when he comes home from school.

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this is how children learn about eachother. The different anotomys of different people, whether guy or girl. Yes, there is some concern there but overall there isnt too much to worry about. Now is probably a good time to sit down and have the 'birds and the bees' talk to your son. Make sure he knows the bad and the good in it. Let him know that what him and his cousin did are not appropriate behavior and tell him WHY. When a child does not know why it leaves them with hostility towards there parent and they try to rebel. answer all of his questions. Im not saying this will be the last time something like this will happen but it might not. His age group is the time where u learn alot about your body and how things change. It wont be long until he gets over this stage in life...but then comes puberty..which is always fun!! so good luck!! hope i helped!

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Im sure your instincts as his parent will show you the best way to deal with this,so im not sure if my advice will help. I would agree that it isnt too much to worry about,afterall to them it was nothing lewd and is certainly just a playful act and exploration. Be careful not to act angry with your son at all, or make him feel guilty but i do agree that you should talk to him just enough so he has some understanding of why its inappropriate.

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  • 11 months later...

I think he is still young enough that it wont have a grave effect on him. But it is not a good thing to learn at a young age. Im sure one of those little boys has been abused sexually and I would defenatly moniter who your son hangs out with alot more closely now. If this were to continue it could have alot of nasty effects later in life, or mabye even not. But its better to play it safe and stop letting him hang out with so many kids with little dicipline.

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