In the dark

[blueangel]

My heart won't let me go to bed

Nor will my head

Nothing will let me sleep

And yet I feel so dead.

 

I need supported, loved, and lifted

To know I'm never alone

Someone...anyone, are you there?

For now, I live in the dark

Waiting for good dreams

That never do get here

 

For no one is around right now

I'm stuck feeling alone

Can't hold myself up on my own

Still I can hear them down below

The TV roaring louder than it should

But they can't hear me.

My heart beating as its bleeding

Holding onto my pillow sheets

 

Life is never hopeless though

There are many thing I'd still like to see

Like to see where life leads

Find out what I can be.

Life's is disappointing though

Every day, I still must go on

Push on, keep fighting

Trying to be so strong

 

I'm trying to be happy

But inside, I know I'm dying

There's no one to see me

I'm alone in the dark and

My heart won't let me sleep

[gobbledegook]

Very nice; definitely something I can relate to.

[blueangel]

I called my boyfriend after I wrote that (it was like midnight) and now I feel better. We all have those nights where we just cradle some pain and don't know what to do with it. To get through it...I just endure it. Suffering isn't bad, doesn't matter that much- because when you look back into memories of times you suffered, you only feel love and compassion for yourself rather than relive the pain in your heart. Sometimes that makes it worth it, especially on days when I'm trying to fake it... pretending to be someone I'm not. To remember and feel that love And it makes me take a look at how far I've come if I'm doing better another day...or sometimes just the next morning.