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js0905

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Everything posted by js0905

  1. So I think I was at day 20? then he texted me because he remembered it was my B-day this month. Asked how I was and when was my bday exactly.... I told him it was 11/25 and he said that he missed me and I told him I missed him too and wanted to see him for my bday. I said "when it comes to you I have no self restraint...LOL!!?" (Which unfortunately is true) He replied "Lol!! You are pretty irresistible yourself" but of course he moved 200 miles away so we wont be able to see each other. =( This is the reason why I broke it off to start out because we hardly saw each other even when he lived in the area. He travels for business a lot so that was the excuse but you know that if someone wants to see you they will make time for you. Right before I broke it of (27 days ago and started NC again) he had said he would be in this area for work anyway but now he is not sure if he can see me this month either. It sounds so stupid when I write about it, obviously he doesn't care enough to make time for me. He texted me for my birthday and will probably text me tomorrow and for what exactly?? I have no clue. All I know is that I tried dating other guys and it just doesn't work I'm in love with him.... I'm not even sure if I should start counting again since I know he'll text me for the Holiday's and my heart will skip a beat and I'll be all happy for no reason. So hoping we can see each other some day I'll text him back like an idiot. Maybe I just need to wait and start again after the 1st of the year....LOL!! ?
  2. What I miss the most is that when things were good he was so responsive and loving. If I'd send a cute picture he would always make a comment about how beautiful I was or how much he loved my face.... He'd say different nice & amazing things every time that made me happy.... He was like that from day 1 with me =) Since we have been on and off, when we are not together I keep on trying to find someone else like this. Nobody else does this, they seem to always be waiting for me to do it first. It's a big let down to me because this is what I want. Have met a lot of guys while we were not together, I don't have a problem meeting guys but they are just clueless it seems. Might need/have to contact him soon because I totally miss him Crap!!
  3. I read what you wrote to me yesterday... Thank you for that =) I met this guy for coffee tonight after we had been emailing for a bit. I like him he is nice, cute and seems to like me. Still I also miss my ex and wish I could see him again. Nobody can take his place and I don't know why. However I'm going to try it with this new guy and just go through the motions. I hope after a while my ex will be out of my head. So often I just want to contact him but then I remind myself that its never gotten me anywhere before. He'd probably reply and say he misses me but in the end he wouldn't be able to see me for one reason or another. I truly believe that if he wanted or could see me then I would hear from him anyway. He knows how I feel about him and the hoops I have jumped through to see him in the past...I miss him a lot too. Anyway you are doing good, hang in there. XXOO
  4. What day is it again?? Meeting someone that I have been emailing with for coffee on Thursday... We'll see how that goes, every attempt in the past to find someone else has failed.
  5. You should be!!! I'm very proud of you and can't wait to get there myself = )
  6. My Horoscope today - "This is a period for you to achieve closure on whatever sorrows and mysteries are still bugging you. Review and change your thinking and interpretations to come to a more compassionate view of what is leaving and why things have happened the way they did. Unclear speech or recollection could cause trouble in unsuspected ways, so best to say little and forgive much. Get a new insight into an old sorrow or self-undoing behavior. A great time for taking one last look back before closing a chapter of the life that is already over. NOT a time to go overboard, in terms of self-pity, to see troubles where none exist, or attempt to solve the world’s problems. A positive outlook is what you need to carry." Interesting isn't it?? Just this morning I was thinking how I was finally starting to feel better... Know that I don't want to let go because he was such an awesome experience and part of my life when things were good. It makes me sad to think that I'll never see him, touch him or communicate with him again. Oh well such is life I suppose.
  7. Another day of not hearing from you.... I guess you really don't miss me
  8. Congratulations!! I'm so jealous, I remember when we were only a few days apart....LOL!! Look at where I'm right now =( It seems like I take one step forward and five steps back. So tired of doing that but I still miss him, want him and wish he would contact me. Try to think of reasons to contact him but I know it wont get me anywhere anyway. Thanks for coming back and posting, it gives me hope that one day I will be able to do the same thing. Right now I feel so hopeless when it comes to all of this.....
  9. Thank you for that, I really needed it.....
  10. Panic is on my mind because I'm starting to feel detachment/numbness towards him. It's better than missing him & been sad but at the same time scary. Probably because I thought we'd end up working it out & been together again. Now he just seems so far away almost like a dream... There were some really good times and my relationship to him changed me, he touched my life & made a difference for the better. However because of different reasons due to his job and mine we hadn't even seen each other in months. In addition to been on day 7 of NC at least 3 x's before....
  11. Felt better today and I guess it's about time....LOL!! However don't think I'd have the strength yet to say "no" to him if he contacted me.............
  12. What happened? Why is it day 23 & day 2?? Either way you know my story I have been at day 28 then at day 20 and now I'm on day 5. Wishing I hadn't sent that email because I said one thing "Do not email me, text me or contact me anymore" but then 20 days later I wished him a "Happy Halloween" & told him I'd always want him and forever be his. So he replied that he missed me with a sad face then also wished me a Happy Halloween and sent a kiss. That was on Halloween day and nothing since... Before that he had started to communicate more often because I had requested it so now he is not again. The thing is that now I blame myself because I said one thing when I broke it off and then I contacted him again??? I thought I was giving him an opening, a way back in, could he just be very confused?? Don't know why I can't just let him go, cried a lot last night and woke up with puffy eyes =( If he wanted to contact me it wouldn't matter what I said right? He would just do it, he knows that I like that. Crap....
  13. Another day....... I hate Monday's............ugh!!
  14. I want to be just like you when I grow up ; ) Seriously I don't even know you but I'm soooo proud of you. It really is an amazing thing how you have worked on yourself and that you are able to reap the rewards. So many times I tried to work on myself but don't/can't stick to it long enough and then get depressed and give up. Thank you for always having awesome feedback =)
  15. You are right when I miss him terribly I don't think of all the crap he has put me through... I need to remember those things and stop thinking of the happy times. Today is also Day 3 for me, let's do it together =)
  16. I know I tend to be a romantic and show my feelings. (He knows that about me) Just hope that he doesn't read into it what you said. Want to believe he will just see it for the true that it is (unfortunately). It's taking me a bit longer than I wanted, to get over him. I have gone as much as 28 days NC before but he had contacted me on day 23 so I got back to him. Now I was at day 20 and not sure what happened, just had a weak/needy moment. I'm needy and because of a lot of issues in my life while I was growing up don't have the self confidence and love for myself I should have. At least I'm aware of it and I'm a work in progress, all I can do is try and try again. The truth is that I have felt similar feelings before for someone else and gone through kind of the same situations?? If anything the relationships keep getting better and more meaningful so I shouldn't doubt something better is out there. However right now I'm still at that point where I want only him. In between our breaks I have tried to date and communicate with others to forget him but so far not one of them has made the grade. I guess I'm just very picky and well there is something about him that is different and special which I can't describe. Sometimes I just have these moments where I wish I could be with him again just one more time. My birthday is this month and what I would do to have him comeback to me as a birthday gift....LOL!! I'm going to stop myself now..... Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate it =)
  17. Don't feel bad I was on day 20 yesterday but couldn't take it anymore and texted him for Halloween. I said "The scary thing is that I will always want you & forever be yours.... Happy Halloween honey!! (kissing emoticon). This after emailing him, ending it and asking him not to email me, text me or contact me anymore 21 days ago.... Yes now he probably thinks I'm deranged....LOL!!?? He did reply within 20 minutes and said "I miss you baby (sad face emoticon) Happy Halloween!! Muah!! I left it at that, didn't want to go overboard, just wanted to give him an opening or way back in. So now he has that and if he wants to make things work then he will and if not, oh well... It did make me feel better at least for now and I think that even if nothing happens from here I'll still be ok. So is back to day 1 for me too and you are an entire day ahead of me ; ) Let's see how it goes...
  18. What day is it again?? I'm starting to feel he is letting me go. Like that song by "Passenger" in my mind he is thinking "Only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go" I's crazy but if he is letting me go then at least it makes me feel better....
  19. Day 18..................................
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