twelve

well good luck to you too, i hope you get back together, pls keep us informed.

You seem to have good control over your emotions.

What is hardest at the mo? The waiting?

by be clear of your objective, do you mean make it clear to them?

My intention is to get back together, we also clicked from day one and were togther a lonnnng time.

We have not been together for a year and much has changed on my side.

I thought that I would make it clear it was purely an apology and a request for peace so i don't put any pressure on and also dont set myself up to get hurt...

Or do you think that is rubbish and game playing?

Should I just make it clear, I want you back, Im sorry, I see now bla bla?

I like honesty but I want to protect myself too

what would you do.

thanks!

Thanks.

Some good advice thank you, yes i need to learn to curb my tongue, it is something i have learnt.

I will remember your advice for it is wise.

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Are the two of you back together now?

It is awesome he apologised to you

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In this relationship I had, I cut it off as she hurt me, i said bye via text (dumb), then she started hurling acusations at me that i hadnt changed which i ignored.

Then she sent another so i let it affect me (mistake) and started hurling it back, and it got nasty

So how i see it, we are both to blame.

I don't want to be a doormat, but i know i am partly to blame.

I think it takes two (except maybe in your case^)

I know from what i said i would not have created a welcoming environment for her to come back to, (i said basically that was it forever) and besides that she is the most stubborn peson ive ever met (ARGH!)

I have grown now and woken up, and I know that with communication we could work this out, we had the closest mutual bond ever, besides her fear of me speaking up about things.

I am very scared of approaching her for fear of rejection.

but time has not let me forget this.

And it seems so silly to let it go to waste.

I don't know if words can be forgiven.

Regardless, all advice helps thanks, thanks heaps

have you tried talking to your friends?

try approaching them and saying "hey looks guys you're making me feel pretty awful by ignoring me - is there something i have done - i wudnt want to do anything to hurt/upset you guys, could you please explain so i can put right what i have done.."

you may want to ask them if this split/fight with your boyf/ex has caused them to ignore you, and has he said anything about you and IF he has

uou would appreciate if they didnt take sides, or at least hear your side.

Maybe you are closer to one whom you can write a letter too?

if they are still immature after this, well they are not the friends you thought they were.

Reminds me a lot of my highschool days (which were not fun).

Girls can be so catty as teenagers for no particular reason.

just hear it from me, you will have better friends in the future.

Are there any places you can meet new people? Clubs at school etc?

As for the guy, as hard as it is, DO NOT push him, give him space.

That is what he needs and as much as it hurts and sux, if you don't give him this, things will get worse.

You can make things better by backing off.

Try and meet new people.

You will make yourself stronger and he'll see that, and he will probably miss you. WOuld be odd if he didn't, and if he didn't, you are not meant to be.

It happened to me when I backed off.

The ex needed to text me to "send me some photos"....

*then we fought again - good one*

Keep us posted xoxox

both.

and also the fact that somehting so good and magic can be ruined by a fight is just a waste.

im not one for grudges.

i don't see the point if people can grow, and i know i have and want her to know.

i don't want this person to think i meant the nasty things i said, and my friends think im crazy because she was so mean to me too, but i still want to apologise.

also, yes i greatly miss her and would love the chance to reconcile but right now im very afraid of writing to her. *rejection fear*

we had stupid things blow out of proportion, both very stubborn, it's not a relationship that should have ended.

thanks for your thoughts all, really helps me out

twelve how do you think i could push her away when i say "i love you" too much. Maybe its just me but i don't see how that could be a bad thing?

I don't mean to sound harsh as I am trying to help, but being blunt is often the best help.

It is too full on.

Maybe after three years of being together but not now.

A clairvoyant told me yesterday that me and the very special person I fell out with may not be good friends again.

She wasn't the best clairvoyant I've been to. but it has severly discouraged me from apologising as I fear rejection despite knowing I'd be the bigger person.

Does anyone have any thoughts.

Much appreicated

PS: Bibora.

she hasn't forgive me yet

I'm really sorry to hear that, but if it's any consolation, it's her problem.

People who hold onto grudges only hurt themselves.

I look down on people who cannot forgive and look up to those who are corageous enough to apologise.

thank you.

it is hard to let go if you feel guilty over acting a certain way.

In my case it's not all my fault either, at all, but i exploded and feel bad now.

It has been over 6 months and I can't let go with her thinking I think that behavior is ok.

And of course there's hope for a reconciliation, but yeh..

i'd usually be the first to do it even though if iwas the one wronged. i do this because i want to show the person that i can be mature and and not hold grudges

That's how I feel.

Has anyone here apologised after a particularly nasty fight?

A fight that ended things for good but you wanted to reconcile?

I am curious to know other peoples experiences, and approaches.

thank you

you don't need to worry about her love for you but you need to stop saying it so much or you may push her away.

watch the L word

same goes for guys

PS: it looks good by the way, I have read your above post.

But yes you are very right in stepping back now.

Protecting yourself is what you need to do, she sounds pretty f***ed up right now and needs to sort herself out, on her own.

Don't give too much to her now or she will take you for granted.

What you have done is awesome and only proved that you are miles ahead of the idiot shes with and doesnt seem into, but leave it now and see what she does.

Good luck Universe, would you keep me updated?

NOw it's up to waht's meant to be.

You are doing the right thing.

xoxox

it's her body

find a new girlfriend

i agree with above

i like tall thin guys, big, usually dark, eyes, big features in general.

well, the thing is, different girls want different things.

Not all girls go for the muscular, geneirc featured, symmetrical but boring looking guys you see in dolly magazines (yawn).

BUT, what does make a guy/person attractive is confidence and self assuredness, a good sense of self, whoever you may be

HOWEVER, that does not guarantee someone will fall in love with you.

They may be attracted to these things but not IN LOVE with you.

Love just happens.

Having confidence in yourself and projecting that definitely aids in the process of finding love though, because if you don't love yourself, noone else will.

If you want to be with you, other people will too.

Energy spreads

It will happen, and you will know when it does

of course, you should repay the favour and make sure you are keeping trim yourself!

ok i have thought about it you are right.

don't send a valentine.

what i meant also was do you have any positive advice for our friend here?

ok i have read all that, and first, here's a big *HUG*

add me to your msn if you want

my advice right now, step back don't push anything, i stll feel it's very clear that you are there for her and love her.

If she doesn't know that she's stupid Sounds to me like this guy isn't doing her any good..

Being sued?

What a winner, bet that stress is mkaing her really want to be with him.

She's in a tough situation right now and ima fraid only time will tell here, i don't think adding pressure to her will help.

She needs to decide on her own in her own time for the relationship to work and last if you get back.

*fingers crossed for you*

For Valentines day, send her a card, a non full on one, just saying you love her (if you say that kind of thing still) or simply that you care for her and hope she enjoys her valentines day, you wanted her to know.

That's all.maybe say from your friend "insert name here".

that way, she knows you aren't pushing, but still feel strongly for her, and her response (it may take a while be patient) will let you know a lot.

You are not lovers, but Valentines day is also for people who love each other.

What doy ou think?

To the poster above:

do you not have anything else to say?

-time-

he sounds like he doesn't know what he wants

of course, pm me your story, things are always complicated, no two relationships the same so the more i know, the better advice I can give.

no don't go full force now it may scare her away and have the opposite effect you want, as much as you want to.

You have come this far.

If I were her, I would respect you a lot right now, and if I were chosing, the more respectable and less full on person would appeal.

You can't force her to want to be back with you, she needs to want to be anyway and things are probably very hard for her right now, she is likely very confused.

All you can do is wait forher response but don't put your life on hold (as much as is poss - i know that's hard)

If you aren't around, she'l miss you, and come to you.

She knows you are there and what a gentleman and mature special person you are, look at how you are treating her and communicating?

Let her get sick of the guy.

Let him get full on if she steps away from him

She wouldn't be hanging ou/making dates with you perhaps if he was her everything

If you aren't around, and she doesn't miss you, she was never going to break up with that guy anyway, and may have used you or it may hurt you.

NOt saying that will happen, but I suggest you now step back, you've done all you can and said all you can, anything else you do now without her input would be to your detremint.

If you get back (fingers crossed, fate etc), and she contacts you... THEN seduce her.

Yeh and if he looses interest, it was never meant to be and he would keep using you/taking advantage of you.

That would only eat away at you.

Short periods of happiness giving way to you feeling terrible.

But more likely, you will become interesting, and he'll realise what he has done.

That will be fun for you.

The hardest part will be not going when he next contacts you, but trust me, you will be proud of yourself later.

*hands sprocc a handful of strength*

you don't need anymore, it's in you,you just have to want to be strong

you know how you are being treated is wrong and you deserve better