insight2

Let me begin by assuring you that you are not alone in your feelings. I am going through the same process that you are tonight. In fact, I spent the past 3 months sleeping with my ex and trying to win him back...Of course, they were the most emotionally unhealthy months of my life, and I would give anything to go back in time and reclaim them for my own. The truth is this, and both of us need to realize this: As long as you are in his arms, you aren't going to be able to move on. In spite of how difficult it is to put your foot down and walk away, you are hurting yourself by staying with him. I appreciate your post, as it made me realize that I'm not the only one going through this process...I have read time and again that break ups are like death: You need time to grieve and to move on. The thing with death is that the 1st step (the end) is something that we can't change. With a break up, someone needs to make the effort to make the 1st step happen...the rest (hopefully for both of us) is certain to follow. To let you know, my ex and I had a very painful and teary conversation tonight. I had been telling him the last few weeks that i think we need to stop being friends for the time being as it is simply hurting me too much. He, being the overbearing individual that he is, scolded me for being 'immature' as he put it, for not being able to be friends with someone who rejected me. Tonight, he told me that he realized where I was coming, and although it is going to hurt him, he will understand. Do this with me: Delete him from your address book, take him off of your buddy list, and put him completely out of your life. If he attempts to contact you, don't answer. If he doesn't get the hint, send him an email and tell him that you are trying to move on and would appreciate if he helped you out. It is hard...believe me, its 4AM on Christmas and I'm up because I was tossing in bed just thinking of him. It hurts to have to push someone so important out of your life, but as I have also read, its similar to an addiction, and the only person who can break it is you. Be strong, and let me know how you are doing...I could use some pointers myself...this advice is easy to give, but oh so difficult to take.