meandonlyme

i understand what you are saying, as for his guilt, it is there for two reasons, more importantly hurting me, risking the loss and the other is for making a terrible mistake and getting caught, resulting in my pain. he is a complicted man and he did finally speak and said, it was nothing and he was crying his eyes out. what do you think of that?? should i attempt to go forward with him, and regain the trust i once had in him?? help !!!!!

i am getting the coldest shoulder from my man after he knows that i am aware he was unfaithful to me last summer. he did this with the assistant manager of the complex we used to live in. naturally, laws were broken and her complete disregard of the rules of implied covenant of quiet enjoyment were not followed, only have made matters worse for all of us. he knows that i am aware that he did this and is very very ashamed, however, he will not speak to me about it and says constantly, i dont want to talk about it right now. i have told him that until he acknowledges it and attempts to reassure me, that i cannot go forward with him. he shows no remorse, accept for the fact that he is obviously extremely embarrassed and guilt RIDDLED, to the extreme !!! what on earth can i do or say to make this man understand that unless he is completely honest with me, there is no hope for us, let alone, the fact that we are to be married in a few months is something i cannot fathom. once a cheater always a cheater. we have 2 small children, and is a wonderful father , and is so scared of loss, but i cannot seem to say anything to make him feel reassured, and at this point, i am thinking, okay, you s.o.b., i am not the crazy one here, you did this and you have to make it right. he seems to think that as long as he doesnt speak about it, then it will all go away. how can he not realize how much this hurts and is killing me on the inside?? i believe he loves me and i also believe he is terrified of losing me and our kids being with him every day. where do i go from here?? please help.... can i possibly stay in this and wait for him to speak (like he told me he would........eventually). or do i just cry my way into a different life. is there hope?? he seems to think so, but what about me being allowed to react??

because i cannot stand it any more, and he brought up "whatever" last summer was about.......... why on earth did he say that to me?? out of the blue, even. i didnt say a word, we were arguing about something completely different and i said to him, " what is wrong with you, why do you have such a hard time addressing things for what they are??" now, what do you have to say to that?? please help !!!

i am scared to death. i love very much the father of my two youngest children. he is 39, im 37. we have been together for almost 4 years and he came into my life at a very crucial time for both of us. he is the bread winner and the true man of the home. he is a terrific father and an even better man for my 12 yr old son, whose father was murdered 11 yrs ago. the problem is this i had our two children late in life and they are only 11 months apart, making life very dificult for all of us sometimes, and it even almost killed me. all of that said...............he takes care of us all, and works very hard for a prison in our state. he is very quiet about things that make him even the least bit uncomforatble. he becomes EXTREMELY aggitated when i ask him personal things about his whereabouts when i do not know where he has been and really gives me hard time if i ask him..what took you so long?? we made love at elast 2-3 times a day from the moment we met until the day our youngest daughter was born. she is now 2.5 yrs old. one day last summer i asked him why a phone number was in his pocket from a woman he worked with 2 yrs prior and he said he found it on the ground and was going to throw it away, but forgot about it. he begain calling me names and being very very distant toward me. sleeping on the couch... going out and lying and saying he was "working over". i caught him twice doing that, and he drove straight home when he knew i was onto his lie. he ADAMANTLY denies anything wrong, yet today we had an argument and he said something really odd........."why do you want to bring up something that happened last summer??" now, tell me that this man is faithful and i will polish your nails. how do i get him to come clean with me?? he must or i will leave him..........soon