FreakTimmah

hey thanks for the feedback, and yes your right. i need to talk to her and know where she stands. i do know that im not obessed and that this isnt a one sided thing. im certianly not in love with her, i just feel very strongly for her, and she does express a lot of affection for me. its just that her actions hurt me and put a lot of stress on our relationship sometimes, and she knows it. but thanks for pointing that out about me being a "guilty secret", now that i think about it thats half of what bothers me. the other half is just jelousy, feelings of betrayal, resentment and disgust. i think if i told her more of what i was feeling instead of just trying to be there for her then we might be abel to reach a comprimise. if not then oh well. i've got some friends moving here for school next semester and pleanty to keep me busy in the mean time with finals coming up. i guess i just don't like losing people, even bad people. thanks for the advice though, i really do apricate it

hey im new here. i found this site and thought i might be abel to get some advice. see i've been sexualy involved with my friend carol since early september and its turned out to be a very confusing relationship. id like to say that were friends with benfits but im afriad thats not really the case, we both have strong feelings for each other but we want diffrent things. she wants to be abel to causualy date other people(guys and girls) and possibly have sex with them. she has said that she can't commit to me because she doesnt view herself as a trustworth person(nieither do i). this is kind of a big deal because sometimes well run into the people shes casualy dating, she hides our relationship from them but tells me all the details about thease other people. its stressful and not particualy what id prefer to hear. it makes me feel as if im not enough for her and it bothers me that she treats me like her boyfriend yet still has sex with other people and wont call this what it really is. the other problem is that she and i are too attached and have assumed a girlfriend/boyfriend role. she sleeps over everynight and i spend the majority of my time with her. im certianly not naive enough to think this relationship is going to last forever or even that it will turn into what i want it to be. but i do care about her and it would be nice to keep her in my life and not have every thing fall to pieces. at the same time i do recognize that she is being a tad selfish and that this relationship isnt all that healthy. i want her to explore and be happy but not at my expense. what should/can i do to improve this situation? should i just back down from my feelings a little and not care as much? i feel like im stuck because even though i know im geting a bit shafted in this situation im still better off then being alone and isolated. its not that im a clingly person, i just dont like being alone all the time, i dont need to find myself, i know who i am and i know what i want, i just cant seem to find it. any adivice/feedback would be apricated, thanks