RichardIII

CustomX! I hate to say it but you have to get a tight grip on the reality of things! Y our situation is very like mine - Except, I took her back! Same kind of line - you're great and you come real close to being my Mr Perfect but I just gotta make sure. She dumps me and three months later we get back together and a year later she finishes with me all over again! I still let her mess me around! I nearly got back together with her four months ago. We hooked up, slept together and played bf/gf, but she still can't commit and won't commit because she still has her eye on finding Mr Perfect. I will always be second best because she believes there is someone better out there. My advice to you is this: - Get out there yourself and have as much fun as possible! Date other women whether you want to or not - at least spend time with other women and enjoy their company. DO NOT contact your ex! If she comes back in three months and says 'hey honey.. couldn't find anyone better.. you're just gonna have to do..' then by all means take her back. But believe me your relationship will be a farce.. you will spend every waking hour walking on glass.. and believe me she will finish with you again! You will not be yourself in a relationship filled with self-doubt.. and that very self-doubt and lack of confidence will be the very thing which sinks your ship again. Don't trust her mate!! Harsh but you know I am right! Keep your chin up! Richard III

Thanks Sabena and Hubman. I guess this is the advice I expected! It is funny but now that I read over my own post, the advice I would give myself is to catch a grip and move on! I know one thing, I can't play at being friends anymore in the hope that she will come back. I wanted my ex to give me an answer as to why she finished with me each time but she just said it didn't feel right! I have to repect that. Can't bully her! Can't persuade her! Can't trick her! ... and to be honest even if she came back.. can't trust her not to finish with me again! Time to move on once and for all! Cheers Richard III

Advice welcome! I met someone 5 years ago, fell in love with her, wanted to be with her! She would tell me that I was all that she wanted. When things came around to the subject of moving in together, or marriage she would back off, then before I knew it she would finish with me. To cut a long story short she has finished with me twice now over the past five years. We nearly got back together a few months ago but she gave me the usual I can't commit line and that she was still confused. It seems to me that she will never be able to commit - at least not to me that is! Anyway, I contacted her again recently - much to the annoyance of my best friends who insist I am crazy - hadn't spoken to her in a few months! She was excited to hear from me and wanted to catch up again. We spent the afternoon together and had a great time as usual. No mention of our relationship, just had fun being together. I left her home, said it was great to see her again and left it at that. Anyway, she texted me the next day to say she had enjoyed our day and called me that night for no reason in particular. I played it cool, chatted and thanked her again for a lovely day. Nothing more. Ideally I would like her to sort out what she wants and come back to me of her own volition. I know this is the only way I can trust that she is ready. But part of me, the part that misses her can't help keeping in touch. What should I do! Should I keep my dignity and forget about her! I mean she has finished with me twice! Should I confront her and say right girl I love you! You love me lets stop messing about and give it another go! Will this push her away forever! Is this a risk I should take! Should I keep contacting her casually every so often and hope something clicks in her mind to make her want to try again. Should I not contact her anymore and leave the ball in her court - if she comes back, she comes back - if she don't well so be it. What do you guys think!! Richard III