Marsha

Seven months ago I found out my husband was having an affair. Two weeks later I found out he was having another affair. He was having 2 affairs at the same time. I kicked him out and he came back about a week later. He promised me he would never lie to me again. He promised he would never cheat on me again. He gave me the pass word to his cell phone. He calls me every 2 hours. A few weeks ago I caught him in another lie about the first affair. He told me in Nov. when he came back that he slept with her 2 times. Now the story has changed. He tells me he slept with her 4 or 5 times and saw her 2 other times. He also gave her $2,400. He called her baby and his girl. I have asked him many many times since Oct. how many times he slept with her and he would always say 2 times and get mad because I didnt believe him. I asked him if he had any pet names they called each other he always said no. He told me he never gave her any gifts. He said "Now you know everything." Because he lied to me for 7 months about he affair and then lied again each time he said "Now you know everthing." I am very angry and hurt. I feel I can not trust him. We are fighting constantly. I barely believe any thing he says. I do not want to go through this again with him. I let him come back under one condition that he would never lie to me or cheat on me again. But he lied. And he knew he was lieing fom the beginning. To make up for this he bought me a $12,000 diamond ring. He called her husband and told him about the affair to prove he was not seeing her. He tells me he loves me constantly and calls me every few hours. But I am still very angry and hurt. I do not understand how he could lie to me again after I gave him another chance. How he could pretend day after day he was being truthful when he was not. I dont know if I can ever trust him again. When I call her his girlfriend he tells me she was not his girlfriend. What else shall I call her? He tells me she was only for sex. But I do not know what to believe. Am I being too hard on him because he lied about the affair? I want to be fair to him but I feel it was wrong to lie to me for 7 months. And if I wasn't snooping around I still would not know. I do not think he is cheating on me now. But when he tells me he will never cheat on me again what am I to believe if he has lied about the affair for 7 months. I told him if he ever cheats on me again we are through. I dont know if we should separate for a while or what to do. We are seeing a marriage councilor on monday. We saw a marriage councilor when I first found out for a few months but he lied to the councilor also about the affair

Last week I found an e mail from my husbands lover. At first he denied that he was sleeping with her. He said they just talked on the phone and she is a friend. Then he admitted to me that he slept with her. He said he slept with her twice. That it had been going on since March. That they had been e mailing and talking on the cell phone together. He told me the reason he did this was because I was cold toward him. He has been physically and emotionally pushing me away for some time now. When I would come near him he would move away. He would not want to make love with me and I complained about it but he still did not want to. Since I found out about the affair he has become much more loving and we are making love again. He tells me he is truly sorry and he tells me he loves me a lot. In the past he has lied to me about many things. Twice he joined a dating club and I found out and twice he promised not to do it again. He tells me he has ended the relationship and I have no proof that he is still seeing her. I do not know what to believe because he has lied so much in the past. He tells me he is sorry but I am not sure if he really is. We are fighting a lot and I have screamed at him many times. I have asked him about the affair but he does not like answering my questions. I feel so hurt and angry and confused. I know not what to think or even if I should stay with him. He wants to try to work it out. I am afraid I may never be able to trust him again. I don't know what to do. We have been maried 13 years. I never thought he would do this to me and I have been very depressed. Not eating, sleeping and I do not care about anything. I feel he is selfish and thoughtless and uncaring to do this to me. I am afraid he will do it again. I do not know if he is really remorseful. I am afraid if we go through another rough time when we do not get along he will do this again. He says it was a fling but it went on for at least 7 mos. I do not know what to believe. Is he telling me everything? Or is he still lieing to me?