LittleCrispyOne

My BF did move out in September. I was devastated for months. I blamed myself for the failure. I spent most of my time feeling broken, my battered emotions and sadness overwhelmed my days and nights. The pain I felt was full body and soul. My feelings of self-worth hit rock bottom because at that time I thought that my worth was tied to him. Fast Forward to Thanksgiving... I had finally come to the conclusion that I was on my own and wrote down in my journal what I wanted from my life and the type of relationship I wanted when I met someone. (In my journal, I can express all the things that I otherwise can not and it is extremely therapeutic to re-read where I was and how strong that I have now become.) I stopped equating the death of our relationship as a failure and forgave my ex-BF. I am a positive person and all the negativity was weighing heavily on me. I immediately felt that a burden had been lifted from me. Part of my realization was that I needed to express my love for myself, my family and friends without reservation and hesitation. I feel alive again and have reconnected with many people and relationships that had been neglected because of my preoccupation with my relationship with my ex. One week later, I began dating again. I have met a couple of wonderful men with whom I am having a lot of light-hearted fun. I had forgotten the simple joys of holding hands and laughing together. I am taking things one day at a time and enjoying the moments I have to myself, with family, with friends and in exploring new relationships. I thanked my ex for being honest to his feelings and really forcing me to reclaim who I am. I am truly happy and at peace for the first time in many years. I realize that I still have a lot of soul searching and healing to do, but it is comforting to know that no matter what comes - I am and will be OK - I AM strong and resilient.

My BF of 17 years and I are on the verge of a break up. Our relationship has been struggling for the past 3 years since we bought a house together and marriage/kids became a possible reality. We have always had different sex drives - I was always much less sexual than him.. but now it is just the opposite, he does not want sex at all and I want it all the time. I feel like a butterfly coming out of the cacoon - I feel extremely sexual, open to try anything and think about sex all the time. About 6 mos ago he stopped initiating sex with me. I tried to give him some space because he has been depressed (moody, sleeps all the time, drinks more) and his job is very stressful, but could not stand the lack of physical intimacy and told him I needed to talk about what was happening. He said that he feels lost, life has no direction, empty, does not know who he is and is not sexually attracted to me anymore. He said he still loves me very deeply, but does not fantasize about me anymore and feels nothing when he tries to think of me in a sexual way. I am extremely concerned about his mental health and have urged him to go for help - he has refused, saying it is something wrong with him that he has to work out. He told me he has thought of moving out. I am at a loss as to what to do. Nothing I do or say is the right thing and I can't seem to make things better between us while he is refusing to seek help. I love this man more than life itself and just can't picture my life without him. Is there anything that I can do to help my man and save our relationship?