InLimboAndHateIt

I started shaving 'down there' several years ago - started with a trim that got out of hand - now I wouldn't have it any other way! It feels terrific! I have always had trouble with razor burn, on my legs. A friend suggested Aveeno shaving cream - expensive but well worth it - no razor burn, no ingrown hairs, no itchy growback. Hope this helps!

Here's my story, I'm 41 and the mother of two. I met this guy online (like I meet most guys) who lives in my neighborhood. We talked for months before actually meeting. When we did meet, it was incredible - we were inseparable for 6 weeks. Unfortunately, in that month there was tons of drama and trouble from my teen daughter and stuff going on in my life. We ended things suddenly and on a very bad note and without closure. I knew there was a woman he'd previously been involved with, been with for 18 months, and he'd broken up with her a year before he met me. She called his place one night and I answered, he and I split up a day or two later - a week later they were dating again. I was so angry we weren't even on speaking terms, but he always stayed in contact with my daughter - she has some substance abuse issues he helps her with. I always felt we were not "done". Two weeks after we split, talking online late at night, he invited me over - the premise was sex (we had a fantastic sexlife) but we both knew it wasn't about sex - we talked for hours, then made love for hours, then talked more -- about us, what happened, about starting over. He agreed that he also had felt we were not "done" - but I had become an emotional dumping ground for him with all the issues I was facing the first time around - and he was right. He decided he wanted to date, just date as he had so many issues, and date more than one woman. Our agreement was that we would see others, but we'd only have unprotected sex with one another (as we always had). We've both been tested and I was never very fertile, although he really wants a child and all along, even during this time he said he'd be very happy if I got pregnant. When we split this second time I asked him about that - he knows I'm a great mom and would parent well with him and I asked him if that wouldn't have been an escape for him if I got pregnant - he'd have to make a decision and commit to me - he thinks I may be right about that motive. For the next two weeks he told this other woman to go away and give him space, and he spent those two weeks with me. Of course during this time she was whiny, needy, trying to pin him down, asking him if he was cheating even though their agreement was to openly date others. When the two weeks were up, he started dating both of us. That lasted less than a week. I couldn't stand the roller coaster of "he's with me, he's not with me" - Sunday he's with me and the family and Monday he's distant - and went to talk to him. We decided mutually to stop seeing one another - neither of us can emotionally invest in more than one love interest at a time. He said he just feels different with/about her - nothing wrong with me - just that feeling (which he said wasn't love) - and agrees she very well may just be a comfort zone right now while he's in a difficult place in his life (looking for a job, facing health issues). He knows he has relationship issues and is seeking help on them. He also knows that she will immediately revert to her old behaivor (that caused their first break) as soon as she knows there is no "competition" or when she feels she has him hooked. He admits he still has unresolved feelings for me, strong ones. I told him I still didn't feel as though he and I were "done" and that we'd end up back together again and he couldn't disagree and he said "never say never". We agreed we didn't want to give up our friendship and he said if she objected, that was a boundary he would hold fast to. I asked him if it didn't bother him that his feelings changed on a dime, and pointed out that he adopts the attitude of whomever he's spoken to last - he does and he agrees with that assessment - he is seeking professional help for his relationship issues. He knows he's a risk taker in everything but relationships, and she is his "comfort zone" - I present much more of a challenge and risk to him. On "criteria", on advice of his sponsor he did a listing on both of us and on paper I was the much better choice for him. I still talk to him online almost every day - he initiates as much as I do. He's severely diabetic, so he checks in with me in the morn to let me know he's not "gone down". He's coming over tomorrow night to help me dissassemble my waterbed for delivery of a new bed Tuesday. I've seen him on the road in the development - if I don't notice him he's sure to beep to get my attention, last night he tore out of a cross-street to catch up to me at the next light and wave. At 2am while I was out my daughter called him to tell him the computers were out and asked for his help - he answered the phone, but was sure to say her name loudly so this other woman would know it was her and not me. I have never met a man that I was so compatible with, we could do things or do nothing together. We had truth, honesty, respect, admiration, incredible passion for each other - inside and outside of bed. He said he's never had so much honesty in a relationship, could never be totally himself until he was with me - and was the same for me. He is an excellent father figure and role model for my kids, particulary my daughter who has all but been abandoned to booze and drugs by her bio father. He loves my kids and doesn't just say he'll keep in touch, he really does stay involved in their lives. He is coming to help me with stuff in the house. He makes an effort to run into me on the street. First, does this sound like a man who's let go of me and cleaved to this other woman in a committed relationship? Second, I have resisted all impulses to write him long soggy letters/emails about us or try to convince him to come back. I know that the wisdom is to hold fast, go on with my life, be busy and happy, and let him chase me if he wants me. I wonder though, as sensitive and with his insecurities - if I show indifference when I see him, will he take that as it's a done deal and I've moved on and am not open to more with him? He has abandonment issues, huge ones, and does this not play right into them? How do I balance my need to put some distance in there (set him free and if he comes back he's mine) but not give him the idea that the door is totally closed on us? Ain't love grand?