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millionaire1

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  1. millionaire1
    Gosh! I think I'm starting to feel it now. I just got two invitations for Christmas which is great. But, I'm thinking, I was suppose to spend it with my ex. I was suppose to be with him and his family, be in his arms, have a romantic evening. Gosh!!! This sucks and is very frustrating! Why does it have to be this way? Why can't things happen the way they were suppose to? Doesn't he feel the same? Isn't he hurting to? GOSH!!!!
  2. millionaire1
    Day 22 I'm doing better and better. I still think of him though. It sucks because we were suppose to spend so much time together this week and next week since my daughter is gone for the winter break. And especially since I'm off all next week. Next week was suppose to be me and him. He just had to mess that up. I wonder if he thinks of me and if he does, if he's missing me and wanting to see me. I know it's not cool, but I wish I could get into his email to see what's been going on with him and if he's been discussing me with anyone. hehe Well, i'm really really hoping he sends me a text tomorrow wishing me a Merry Christmas. I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!!! Hang in there, the New Year is almost here!
  3. millionaire1
    Day 20 I'm feeling pretty good today. I miss him, but I'm not as bad as I was feeling early on. I had a good weekend which probably helped. I stayed over my girlfriend's place Saturday night. While me and my friend were out Saturday night, I was having a little fun dancing, but thinking about him most of the time. After awhile my feet was hurting so I sat down and really started thinking of him. I was wondering where he was, what he was doing, if he's giving his love to someone else, is he sleeping with someone else. Sunday we went to 2 malls and just had some girl fun. LOL. We sat in some massage chairs in a store for a Very Long time just having fun and enjoying the moment. She's going away for the Holidays, and I sent my daughter back to our hometown on Saturday, so I'll be alone for Christmas. I'm actually hoping and expecting my ex to send me a text on Christmas Day wishing me a Merry Christmas. I'll be really upset if he doesn't. Shamefully, I still want him to want me. I want him to miss me, call me, try to get back with me, etc. I haven't fully accepted the breakup which I know I need to. I need to just let it go.
  4. millionaire1
    I know the feeling of them not contacting us and missing us making us feel like it was all our fault. It almost makes you feel like you're a horrible person or something. But it's so true what you said, that relationships are about working things out. It takes two to make it work. He sends me forwards, but to me that's not a personal email. I'm glad you didn't brake NC even though I know it was very tempting. Sometimes we end up fooling ourselves telling our minds that maybe that person is missing us too and maybe if we initiate the NC, they'll receive us with love and happiness. But then we're hit with a sorrow surprise. So good for you.
  5. millionaire1
    Good for you!!!!!!!
  6. millionaire1
    I'm feeling pretty good today. I talked with my brother about my situation last night to get a male's perspective and that helped alot. He's also telling me not to contact my ex. Especially since men are the hunters and I'm the one to be chased. He said that if he was still interested, he'll be coming after me. He told me that I just need to focus on healing and stop dwelling on it. My ex did send me an invite for yahoo in my email. I'm wondering if when he signed up for it if it automatically sent invites to everyone in his contact list or if he personally sent the invite to me. I'm not going to accept the invitation though. If he wants to talk to me then he needs to make some real efforts.
  7. millionaire1
    That's my same story. He told me that he never had someone so nurturing as I was and shown him love the way I did. He said he never experienced the kind of care and devotion I showed him. Hmmmmmmm..... so why he leave? Well that's his loss.
  8. millionaire1
    Yeah I guess you're right. I'm going to have to give a little something of myself. I don't believe that I have to give my all though until I'm married. I'm interested in that book you mentioned. I may just look it up, thanks.
  9. millionaire1
    I'm feeling soso today. Up and down with my emotions. I felt pretty good last night. Probably because I was out Christmas shopping with my daughter and just being busy. Right now I'm up and down with sadness, anger, wishful thinking, and loneliness. I know I keep saying this but it's really ticking me off that he's not trying to talk to me. I know it shouldn't matter because really, who is he? But, unfortunately it's bothering me. I guess I gave him too much power over my emotions. I know that for the next time I get envolved with someone, I'm not going to allow them to get me emotionally envolved to the depth that I was with my ex. I'm not giving them all of my time and energy. I'm not even going to allow them to talk to me everyday because that creates a dependancy. The only time I'll do all of that is the day that I'm married or maybe a little after being engaged for awhile. But simply someone just being my "boyfriend", . . . not anymore. I have to say that I get jealous when I hear about other people's situations of break up because usually their ex is still trying to contact them. My ex only sends occasional forwards.
  10. millionaire1
    Awww, sorry your son is involved in all of this. Yeah that is a long time that you were together with her and a long time that she was in your son's life. And yeah this basically is like him loosing a mother. So sorry. And sorry you're not feeling great today. Relationships are tough and basically a gamble. Unfortunately it's a gamble with our emotions, time, efforts, and more. Hang in there, you'll be okay.
  11. millionaire1
    Day 15 for me Last night was a bad night for me. I went to the gym after work and couldn't complete my workout. I was feeling really sad and down. I fixed dinner, ate, and laid down until I fell asleep. I had no motivation for anything. Before dinner though I went to Best Buy, and on one of their display TV's they had Michael Jackson's videos playing on it. The video called "Earth Song" caught my attention. It was showing all the many terrible struggles and pain in this world and made me realize that what I'm going through is really Nothing compared to what so many people in this world are feeling. There's so much hurt and pain in this world, and for a moment I was thinking, wow, what could I do to ease someone's pain, to help stop the destruction of this Earth.
  12. millionaire1
    Definitely! I haven't broken NC even though almost everyday I'm so tempted to. I'm trying to learn from everyone else and to learn to stop being led by my emotions. I've learned from the past that most of the time, my emotions steers me wrong and I've got to get control of that. We give them our power even when we start dwelling on them. Which does us no good anyways. All the dwelling and wishing doesn't change anything. It only prolongs our healing. And I'M SO GUILTY OF THAT!!! lol
  13. millionaire1
    Yeah I know, so true. Frustrating but true. And so true that unfortunately for the time being, it's him I want to see how wonderful I am and desire to be with me. There is a guy that's interested in me that i'm so much more attracted too, makes more money, seems like more fun, but my heart is wrapped up in my ex, I can't even think of dating someone else. Stupid stuff!!! ](*,)
  14. millionaire1
    this sucks because Christmas is next week and we were suppose to be together. i had cancelled my plans of going home because he wanted to spend it with me. Well this sucks!!! we were going to spend so much time together over the next two weeks. Man!!!
  15. millionaire1
    Dang! Wow! that sucks!!! wow. Sorry about that but thanks for posting this. Because I so want to talk to my ex and feeling the same way as you were. Thinking that he will be glad to hear from me. Wow. I'm really trying to hold back now. Wow! This stuff SUCKS!!!!! Man! I wish he would contact me. Why doesn't he miss me? I know I was a good girlfriend overall. I didn't do him wrong. Arghh!
  16. millionaire1
    keep praying. .. . it's a start. so true about us loving ourselves. How can we expect anyone to love us if we don't love ourselves. We have to love who we are once again and know that even though we're not perfect, we have great love to offer someone, we are great people, and we deserve to be loved.
  17. millionaire1
    Exactly!!! that's kind of how I'm feeling. Wait til the Summer!!! Yeah!!! I'm working out and losing weight. Eating better. On the verge of changing my hairstyle. Watch Out. Too bad for him!!!
  18. millionaire1
  19. millionaire1
    Wow! 8 years?!!! Wow! that's gotta suck! sorry to hear that. Sounds like she's missing out on someone good. Well, I guess all we can do is like you said, respect the person's wishes and just accept it for what it is. Let go of the control and let time take it's course. It's difficult and hurts, and sometimes feels like it's not fair, but, we can't control others and what happens in this life. The only one we can control is ourselves. We can't make people love or want us, they have to do it for themselves. Well, hang in there and trust that time will get us to a place of happiness and confidence again.
  20. millionaire1
    wow! so did she leave you or the other way around? Has she contacted you at all about missing you or wanting to see you?
  21. millionaire1
    thanks robert013 and thedude27 so much for clearing it for me! This is tough. I so much want to see him and be in his arms. I think one of the toughest things for me to deal with is the abandonment and rejection. Plus I miss the comfort of the relationship, the attention, and the affection. He was very affectionate.
  22. millionaire1
    hmm.... didn't think of it that way. Well, you don't think that I will lose my chance by keeping up with this NC thing? Like, maybe in his mind he's thinking that I really moved on and didn't really care, and so now he's going to move on?
  23. millionaire1
    Just trying to get some understanding. But in my mind if I dumped someone for whatever reasons, I'd expect them to come begging for me back. That's why I'm wondering if I should go to him and initiate us getting back together.
  24. millionaire1
    Why isn't it good to contact someone that dumped you? Can someone tell me why it's not good to contact your ex if you want them back? Because I'm feeling like if I do, he might be missing me too and just waiting on me, and then we can talk and maybe make up. I'm thinking that he wants me to initiate us getting back together. He has a lot of ego, and maybe I need to be the one that contact him to get things patched up again. Please someone help and let me know if this is a good idea or not. Thanks.
  25. millionaire1
    Day 13 for me. I went skating with a couple of friends Friday night. It was a lot of fun. It helped take my mind off of things. I'm feeling better than I have been. But I still think of him quite often. It hurts and confuses me as to why he hasn't tried contacting me, telling me he wants to talk or he misses me. I don't understand how he can just walk away like that as I was supposedly the best girl he's ever been with. He was sending me forwarded email, and he stopped sending them last Tuesday. I guess since I'm not responding to him in any way, he decided not to send me any more forwards. I really wish I knew what he was thinking. I would feel so much better to know if he missed me and thinks about me. I really wish it didn't end the way it did. People are telling me that I should be thankful that it ended, but that's so hard to see because all I can see and feel right now is Rejection!!! I feel so rejected and that hurts. It's making me feel like I was a terrible girlfriend when I know I wasn't. I started complaining more but it was only because he wasn't responding to me the way he used to. If you tell someone you miss them, or you can't wait to see them, it's only natural to want to hear it back. That plus other things cause me to start complaining more and more but I should have handled my emotions better than that.
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