I have been in a seemlingly dead-end marriage for years. We were married very young, too young to really know what we both were all about. Over time we grew apart. Five years ago she wanted to have a child and of course I thought maybe this would help us get closer again. For awhile it did. Unfortunately, during this time I also started playing allot on line and toying with the idea of seeing others for sexual gratification. I finally admitted to having had online addictions and one liasson, and she said she forgave me after a week or so but she never really did and we started growing more apart. During the last four years we have grown further and further apart.
A few months ago, I started a relationship. The first night was of course purely physical but within a couple of weeks we both had strong feelings for each other. We are now in love totally with each other and both know that we are each others true soul mates! During this time I sought advice from an attorney on seperation and have studied the laws on seperation and divorce. The attorney advised me to seek counselling and I did... at first she didn't want to go but in the end I was the one not wanting to go back to the counsellor. For the past few weeks I have been in a living hell. I had already started moving things out of the house last week when my 'gf'/soulmate told me that she needed to move on and that until I was out totally she didn't want to see or hear from me. Call it divine intervention or what but I went to a Bible study alone last week and it was exactly what I needed to hear... about going through trials and staying still if you aren't sure of which way to go. Anyway, I didn't move anything else out and my 'gf' had already told me it was over until I did so.... and for a couple of days she was of course hurt and mad about me not having moved anything else out... but she came back and apologized and said how much she missed me and how she will always love me and will be in love with me.. I told her the same thing but that I felt I needed to stay put for now for some reason. In the mean time my wife has done a complete about face and is trying so hard to make things work but I know that they will never be able to be like they are with my 'soul-mate'. Do I come totally clean with my wife and see if she still takes me??
I am making this as brief as possible but I am struggling with what I should do now... Do I stay where I am and know that I will never truly be in love and happy and that someday 'we' will be together again?? I guess this is a decision that is ultimately mine to make but I wanted to see others input on this subject.
