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Irish Jax

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  1. Irish Jax
    Day 19!!! Boy it does not seem like that long of a time. When I look at it, nineteen days isnt alot. I keep moving forward, but he is always on my mind. Its not that I want him back, just realizing how stupid he is when it came to a few things. But you start to gain perspective when the person is no longer around and start to gain control back of yourself. I just look forward to the day where none of this matters any more. I keep saying any day now I will wake up and this relationship will be filed away with the rest of my formers. Day 19!!! Onward and upward!!
  2. Irish Jax
    Day 18! Doing well today! What I find weird is that I will think about everything at night before I sleep. I dont get upset about it, I just feel like my brain is going through every word we said or every memory and going over it. After that I feel like it is filed away. I know that sounds weird! Maybe its the minds way of coping with letting go. I do not know. I never studied the workings of the human mind. Day 18!! Onward and upward we go!!
  3. Irish Jax
    Honey, You have very inspirational words. You are right about NC and the challenge. Listen, to all who are struggling with it. I know exactly how you feel. Doing NC goes totally against my nature, but I cannot tell you how empowering it is to have made it this far. Thats what inspires me to keep going. Knowing at the end of it, whether it would be 30 days or sixty days, I will be alot better off than I would be constantly contacting them. Trust me, I always have in the back of my mind of whether my ex has forgotten me or if he is thinking of me or if he hates me, etc. But NC has also allowed me to realize what went wrong in the relationship. It is eye opening and you start to settle with the fact, that maybe your ex is not who you thought they were. I have discovered through NC and plenty of time to think that although my ex is a nice guy, everything was all about him and I did everything to make him happy, but it was not being returned. He asked for space and thus he can have it all he wants. He basically took all my qualities and everything I had to offer and walked away. NC allows you to be happy with yourself. Look inside you and see what you did during your relationship. It does not matter what your ex thinks or feels about you. Your silence and not calling them is the most powerful weopan you have for yourself and it allows you to be in control of you, not your ex. Do not give your ex the benefit of knowing you still want them. Whether they come back or not does not matter. What matters is you need to heal from this pain. Talking to them may provide a temporary bandaid, but it will not heal the wound.
  4. Irish Jax
    Yay Day 17!!!! Although I am feeling better each day, I do look forward to the day I am completely healed, where I do not think of him. Usually, how I work, is one day I just wake up and feel so much better and my ex no longer matters. Well, that day has yet to arrive. I do miss him, but that is slowly slipping away as I look back and realized how unfairly I had been treated. I know his feelings for me were strong, but he was just an immature selfish boy who did not consider my feelings through the relationship. As I look back, everything was based on what he wanted at the time despite what was going on with me. I have always supported him and never complained. That selfish part of him will be the part that contacts me one day, only because I make him feel good and not the other way around. Keep up with NC everyone. It is not worth contacting your ex. Healing is essential and calling them will not help with that process. Dont let them have the power over your healing process.
  5. Irish Jax
    Thank you Honey for your words!! Just to note, the comment about two of my significant exes do not include the current one I am doing NC with. He asked for space and I am thus giving it to him and myself. We lost a baby and it caused alot of stress btw us. He indicated to me that he intends to contact me again in the future, but felt all this stress btw us right now isnt doing any good. He did not want a full clean break as I wanted and knew he still cared for me deeply. He kept repeating he needed space and that I needed to understand that, I totally kept telling him no problem. So we will see if this one comes back someday, but I am not counting nor waiting for it.
  6. Irish Jax
    Reached Day 16. Want to keep racking the days up. One of the reasons I do not call is because I have made it this far. To everyone thinking about their exes, if they come back, they do, if not, what have you been waiting for? In my experience, I have had two very significant exes try to return and start a new relationship and it happened when I least expected it and also I had already moved on from my feelings for them and did not want them back anyway. I would say that the regret or the loss of the relationship (in the dumper, so long as it was not a really bad relationship) does not set in for a few months at least. That has been my experience.
  7. Irish Jax
    Halfway there!!! Day 15 I am alot calmer and more rational now that it is fifteen days later. He is on my mind though. I do not miss the stress, but the same as a few posts above in that I miss the closeness. I treated him like gold and know he had nothing to complain about. When I look back, I realize he was the problem and an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of him. I might do sixty days like you Lil Bear.
  8. Irish Jax
    Day 14 Hey I know the urge to want to call. I have missed him alot this weekend and of course want to call. I just know, right now, it will not do me any good or him. It has to be them that call you. People need space right after a break up and if I called, I would be going against saying I let him go. It would confirm what he believes and I am not one to give him the satisfaction. Plus, I dont want to start at Day 1 again, I want to keep going. Day 14!!!
  9. Irish Jax
    Day 13!! Doing ok today. I still miss him and slowly I am letting go of the negative things that happened and keep hold of the good memories we had. NC is the best option to allow you to move on and also not give them the benefit of having you in their life anymore. Day 13!!!
  10. Irish Jax
    Day 12!!! Feeling good today!!! Yesterday, this sexy guy came up to me while I was studying in the library and started talking to me and I was just struck like a deer caught in headlights. I want to see more of him. lol! Its so good to be able to feel this way again. I didnt know through how depressed I have been and it has shown me that I am still human. Day 12.. Onward and upward!!!
  11. Irish Jax
    Day 11. I am doing ok today. I have thought about him a lot today though and miss him alot today. Do you all have days like that? Where you just miss them? I havent really "missed" him over the course of NC, but today I do. Its not enough for me to want or create the urge to call. I just miss him. Well, here is to the day I do not miss him. Day 11!!!
  12. Irish Jax
    I have reached Day 10!!!! I am so excited to have reached Day 10, I do still think about him everyday, but I am stronger compared to last week. I realize that if we talked right now, it would not help. As much as we cared for each other, the best option right now is to let each other breathe and take as much space as we can. What that space will do? I do not know. But I respect it when he asked for space and I also have realized I need it as well. I keep thinking ten days is alot, but then I look at a calendar and realize that it is not that much healing time at all. Day 10!!!
  13. Irish Jax
    Yay!!! Day 9!! I am getting better every day. I dont want to call him, the only reason I would call is to yell at him for being an idiot, but when I look at the phone, I know what I will hear on the other end and have no urge to call. I do look forward to the day where he does not occupy my thoughts. I am slowly letting go and moving on each day and I look forward to when I am completely over it. Day 9!!!
  14. Irish Jax
    I have reached DAY 8!!! I am proud of myself and notice the great difference from this time last week. I still think about him and still want to call him. But the reason i want to call him has changed drastically. Last week, it was because I wanted him back. This week, it has to do with the fact I have realized how unfairly he treated me and that he is an idiot and I just wish I could tell him that. What holds me back is that fact that calling wont do me any good and it will give him some sort of sick satisfaction that he believes I will call him. When you start to think about things, you start to open your eyes and realize that breaking it off actually is the best thing and you see the person as they really are and not how you saw them in the relationship. Day 8!!!
  15. Irish Jax
    Day 7 Well I have reached Day 7 of NC. I have gained so much strength in a week and started to see that this is totally his loss. I will work hard every day to reach thirty and heal myself. Its his loss because I know that I am a great girl with a lot to offer and he honestly is too selfish at this point in his life to treat me the way I deserve. I never complained and always let him be himself because I feel that is important. I also treated him like gold. He was stupid enough to walk away when our relationship reached a real-life crisis and he was too immature to handle it. All in all, I would have to say that despite my strong feelings for him, I am better off in the long run. DAY 7
  16. Irish Jax
    Day 6 I keep slowly racking the days up. As soon as I reach the day, I realize that six days really isnt that much of time. When I get to 30, I will be so happy. I am starting to heal more and feel stronger each day. Actually starting to believe that he did not treat me as well as I deserved. He had no reason to complain and I am proud of myself for going NC because at the end of it, I will be healed and also because it shows him I am not so attached to him as he assumed I was. Day 6...more to come.
  17. Irish Jax
    Day 5... Doing a little better each day. Cannot wait to reach day 30 because I know I will feel so much better by then. Honestly, I do believe no contact is the best thing because I feel better not knowing what is going on with him. I mean, dont get me wrong, I assume the worst as normal people do in that he has maybe forgotten me or has moved onto someone else already, but I look forward to the day that this thought no longer bothers me. Day 5...keep racking them up! (No contact from his side as of yet)
  18. Irish Jax
    Day 4! Feeling a little bit better each day. Still thinking about him alot, but not as emotional. Four days is actually the longest amount of time that we have not ever spoken since we had been together. Its really not that long of a time, I know, but still an accomplishment. I know he is probably still waiting for me to call to beg, but it wont happen this time. I wont give him the satisfaction of believing I want him and confirm his belief. He wanted space and time and all that to get away from stress, and a I truly hope he enjoys it. Regret will set in one day and I wont be the one on the end of the phone asking for another chance.
  19. Irish Jax
    I have reached Day 3 of NC. Slowly feel a little better each day, but not there yet. Although no contact is hard, it is definetely going to be the best route for me. All of the normal break up thoughts enter my head, has he forgotten me? Is he already seeing someone new? etc. The truth is my NC is going to help me to heal faster and also show him that I am not all about him as he expected. He wants me to call and beg for him because he truly believes that is what I am going to do. I will not give him the satisfaction of thinking he is right about me, because he is not. Although three days have passed, it seems like only a few hours. Day 3.... more to come.
  20. Irish Jax
    Well I have reached Day 2. Doesnt really seem like all that much. It amazes me the different thoughts that go through your head when you start NC. In my case, he flew down to see me over the weekend because we had a lot of things to sort out. The first day, he was somewhat hostile and defensive, but I was able to assure him that I agreed we needed to break it off for now because of the the stress and our unfortunate situation. The day he left, he told he me he was going home with the highest regard for me and was impressed with how strong I was. He held my hand as we approached the airport and told me that when he comes to visit again, he wants to see me. He just reiterated we needed some time to heal from the stress and loss. Our situation was that we started long distance about 6 months ago. After I had visited him once, I found out I was pg and I was completely devastated. I didnt know what to do and did not tell him for a while. When I finally told him, we were already having some issues because this streses was killing me and taking effect on him. I told him I would terminate to get his pressure off of me and so that I could make a clear decision. Finally, he discovered I had not yet done it and that my health was at risk if I continued the pregnancy. He flew down two days after the procedure and thats what I was discussing above. There was alot of anger and questioning. He did not believe that I would be able to let him go. He kept reiterating that he needed some time and space and that every time I would call him the last few weeks, he feared hearing bad news. But the fact is, I love him enough to let him go and told him that before he left. When he came to visit me to support what I had gone through, it was actually me supporting him because he had not been here to experience it. We had not seen each other in four months and everything had been done on the phone. I was happy he was able to leave by telling me that when he comes back down (his brother lives here) he will call me and want to see me again. I knew he still cared for me deeply. NC will benefit both of us. It will help me heal and become stronger and also help him realize I can keep my promise, that I let him go because I love him. He is still expecting me to call to either give more bad news or to beg for him back. Not going to happen. Thanks for listening!!!
  21. Irish Jax
    Starting my NC after breaking up yesterday. Feelings and emotions are up and down. My ex is damned sure I am going to call him and cry about it, but he is wrong. I am doing NC for myself and to show him that he is not so right about me all the time. I told him I loved him enough to let him go and this shows it. Day 1 of the NC challenge. Here we go.
  22. Irish Jax
    Officially day 3 of NC... I am missing him alot and although I know what I am doing is best right now, once again those weak moments come where I just want to reach out and talk to him. He asked for some time away and space and I just hope he is getting all the space he wants. Its sometimes agonizing for me.
  23. Irish Jax
    Mine is a long distance situation as well. Day 2 for me and sometimes I am doing great. Others, I am wondering if he still cares or if he will ever call me. How long before you felt better about everything and how many months passed before he contacted you again?
  24. Irish Jax
    Officially day 2 of NC. It is hard. When I do not keep myself busy, I think about him, but I know this is what is best for me. Not knowing where he is or what he is doing actually is better than me calling him and not being able to reach him.
  25. Irish Jax
    Officially day 1 for me. I have attempted a few times to start NC for the last two weeks, but have broken it. I now feel strong enough and I am ready to move forward with it. Hopefully as each day passes, it becomes a bit easier.
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