Help!! I am still in love with a man who broke-up with me 6 mos ago after a 4 year relationship and I can't seem to get past the heartache and pain. We dated in college (he was my first boyfriend) and then were apart for 15 years (I graduated, he dropped out and went into the Air Force). He had a child with another woman, then was single again. We hooked back up 4 years ago in a long distance relationship that progressed to where we were thinking about getting married. I got cold feet and wanted to put things on hold for awhile, though we were still seeing each other (actually more than before). I was under a lot of stress and really just didn't know what to do....doing nothing was all I could manage. He was hurt, angry and began doing things that hurt me during this period, emphasizing that we weren't together anymore. Then he hooked up with an old friend (he said she loved him but he didn't feel that way)...only tell me three months later that they had gotten engaged. I have been heartbroken ever since (that was 3 mos ago) and have been in such a pit of depression since the break-up that hearing about the engagement was too much for me. It had gotten so hard to function and I had just gotten to where I could talk to him again and he sprung that on me. Dating doesn't seem to help (I just think about him and not them) and I have broken off contact because I just couldn't handle anymore news like that. I have such an overwhelming feeling of loss...what is wrong with me? Why can't I go on, move on? I fear I will lose my job because I can't concentrate...and I just don't care anymore. This makes me angry because I'm sure he's fine and I feel like I'm falling about. I still catch myself calling his name. I know this was my fault (he was ready to buy the ring)...I just want to get past what has happened and feel happy again.
