JasminT

Call it quits. But make sure you do it carefully as he could be dangerously abusive and don't be swayed by his threats to hurt or kill himself, which may be verbal or made through his actions, like not wearing a seatbelt or helmet. You're drowning under the weight of his world, immaturity, bad history and abuse. It's also obvious to us, the peanut gallery, that he doesn't value his life, your life or his children's lives. Call it quits.

I can understand that you've been married a long time and wish it could work, but you're right about your dignity. You shouldn't have to grovel and beg your husband to stay with you and you do not have to subject yourself to his whims. He'll never respect you if you let him do what ever he likes, and more importantly, you won't respect yourself! So, as much as it hurts, you need to respect yourself and set boundaries. If he doesn't want to stay married but wants to stay in the house until the kids are grown, that sets a bad example for the children as they witness a loveless and disrespectful marriage. Perhaps you should separate....there's a great website that has information about divorce, which you should start investigating just to make sure you're well prepared and cared for in the event it happens. It's TheModernWoman'link removed