MoVD

Well I would like to thank both of you once again for the help, but my girlfriend and I split up for good yesterday. I am not happy about it and yesterday was the day that I would talk to her and explain everything that I was doing to make it all work. Well she never got to hear that and she broke it off over the TELEPHONE!!! I thought I was alright with this while talking to her but after a bad nights sleep I realize that breaking up over the phone was not a very good idea and to be honest I am pissed off right now. Could anyone tell me why she would that over the phone? (oh yeah I said before that I would go to her place to talk everything out, but she said no and made up excuses that she was too busy with stuff). A phone call to break up is like the worst you can do to someone, but then why did she do it? Was it because she didn't want to go into a discussion or is it a bit "safe environment" when you talk over the phone? An answer to this would be great. Thanks again to everyone who gave advice. Maurice

Alright, I will try the journal bit. I was actually thinking of doing that too so that I can start to see when I do things "wrong." ABout the meditation: I think this will be fairly hard for me to do since I am a fairly active person and just can't sit still. Maybe I should try to find a Yoga place somewhere. Well thanks for all these ideas. I am definitely going to try them and hope that in the long run it all works out for me. If you have anymore ideas or advice it is still always welcome.

Hello, my name is Maurice and I really could use help here. I'm 25 years old and I have been with my girlfriend now for 10 months. This is my first ever long term relationship and and the past month we have been drifting apart. The problem lies with me. I will explain. My girlfriend told me that I need to communicate more, in the sense that I need to express myself more, and be more open. Not only that.... I do things (just actions) without looking at the consequences of my actions. I have talked to my mother about this and she told me that I have been like that since I was born and that I "selfish" She said that she has tried to change that but she never succeeded. Now this is getting back at me with my girlfriend. I do actions and she is not happy about it. When she explains it to me then I see her point of view and I understand, but I still do stuff which reflects badly to her and I have no idea that I am doing it (in my mind everything is fine) until she explains the impact it had on her. As a result we have decided to take a small break so that I can decide (she came up with this idea to avoid a break up of some sort) whether or not I want to change myself and if so how. Now I am totally lost, I mean I do want to change this negative aspect of mine for myself but also for her. I really don't want to lose her. I do however feel that we are drifting further away from each other and I am not feeling well about this. I fear the worst. I know I should keep a positive view and not have a negative view but I can't help myself in that. I just really feel that it will all go wrong. Please help!!