zerohalo

Man this is an important thread for me. I decided that I wanted to take time off from the dating scene so that I could "get to know myself again", but all I've been thinking about is how much I miss having someone to hold on to and you know, do stuff. Been separated for over four months, I'm technically still married even though my wife moved to another city in another province and we haven't had any contact since the split.

 

I don't want to have someone be my crutch to make me feel happy. I want to look at my life and myself and be at perfect peace and ease. But still I have those damn moments where I look at the other half and wonder if they're right.

I know what you mean. I've been separated for 3 months and just recently we decided to make it legal and divorce. I know I have issues after all of this, yet I can't stop thinking about women. I feel like a jerk because of it.

Yeah i think the feeling or thought that you are inside them (for awhile) is what turns guys on ALOT!! about swallowing.

For some. I like it when a woman swallows, it's just sexier. Plus, there's a certain feeling of rejection if she spits out the cum after the fact. No one likes to think that something about them makes the other go 'Yuck!'

Different strokes though. Some guys like it when you play around with a load instead of swallow it, dribbling it, rubbing it around, etc.

If he actually -broke- it, there would be more visible signs than just the break. A penis like that starts to fill up with blood and looks sort of eggplant shaped. There's also discoloration, and he would be in extreme pain.

However, it's possible that he has had that happen to him in the past and his wang is on the mend. Typically most of the functionality is there, but I do believe it's possible that there could be circulatory issues. If he was hard and yet part of his happy camper seemed to be bent, I think that's a good sign that he's had it happen.

If that's the case, I feel sorry for the guy. It's supposed to be extremely painful, and very scary.

Now unless the girl just tastes bad, I would suggest trying this trick. Brush your teeth before you go down on a girl and you wont taste anything but the toothpaste.

That is a GREAT idea! I wonder if it feels any different for the woman though, I mean toothpaste kinda makes your mouth feel cool. Sweet, I learned sumthin!

Yeah, guys with facial hair suck.

*cough*

It could just be a control thing. I know that I usually have a hard time cumming if I'm not the one doing most of the work. He may have a similar hang-up. Here's a good test to see if that's the case- have sex doggy style, but don't let him thrust at all. You do all the work. If he runs into a similar issue, I think you may have your answer.

And yes, as long as he doesn't mind that he can't cum that way so that you get more pleasure out of it, it's not that big of an issue.

I once drank half a quart of orange juice before getting a blow job, and I was told the pre-cum tasted much sweeter.

Water makes sense too.

I cant' believe I actually read all the threads in this post.

I'm chiming in her only because I didn't see anyone else mention it. I actually was sort of in the reverse situation. My ex -always- wanted me to cum quickly because she loved the feeling of it. So here I am, wanting to go as long as I could, and she wanted to just feel me spurting and spasming inside her.

It was never very satisfying to me because I require a fair amount of psychological stimulation to get off. Nevertheless, she did on occasion let me go for as long as I wanted. She never did walk straight the rest of the day, which was a nice ego boost.

So really, this isn't a male issue, it's a relationship issue. I think it's selfish for a woman to be upset when her man has the occasional problem holding back, and I think it's selfish for a man to only care about his needs. That being said, just because a man comes early does not mean that he is being selfish. There are just way too many factors to take into account.

I remember once, my ex had spent so much time dolling herself up, I came in about 30 seconds. She was just so gorgeous that I couldn't help myself, and I remember her having a very wicked smile on her face when I told her that.

Alright...looks like I have some clarifying to do...lol.

 

It is not *just* the size of their package. The last few, like I have mentioned...have been absolutely terrible in the other areas as well.

Oh. Well ok that's different. I don't know what to tell you there- if they aren't arrogant and genuinely want to please you I would think this wouldn't be an issue.

Some guys can't take the hit to their egos, that they're doing something wrong. I know had some issues like that, but it was made worse because my ex couldn't tell me what she wanted. Kinda sucks knowing you're not doing something right and the person's who's judging can't tell you what is right.

If you're giving these guys straightforward suggestions without berating them or making them feel dumb, then I don't know why they're having issues. It could just be that they think they're good and you're nuts for not getting off on their technique. Who knows.

Ok, I wasn't all that helpful. It's a strange situation. I think there's a disconnect somewhere in your communication and their ego. Tracking it down and fixing it, that's the trick.

I'd have problems if I didn't have my goatee. I have no real chin to speak of (damn you genetics!), so if I didn't have the goatee, the order of my face would be eyes, nose, mouth, neck.

I'm going to go in a waaaay different direction than everyone else here. Just a suggestion, but if these guys are that small, and you're not feeling it all vaginally... have you tried anal sex? I guarantee you'll feel something there and since these gents are apparently not even average sized I'm thinking you might not have too hard a time of it. If you decide to go that route, read up on the subject first and get some advice.

This, of course, doesn't answer the root of your question. How can you know ahead of time? I would 'think' it would be kinda easy to find out. Just make out with him long before you actually have sex. Chances are he'll get hard and you can cop a feel outside his clothing (don't let the size of a bulge be your indicator, actually feel it to find out... bulges can be misleading).

There was foreplay done, I was wet and he didn't do it hard, yet it still hurted. I hope the second time it will go all the way in.

That really is amazing to hear. Despite your crying, the pain, you want more. Sex is clearly hard wired into our psyche if someone can go through all of that and yet want to get past it all.

I'm not trying to get all analytical on you here, I just find it really fascinating.

I wish I could offer you some advice, but 1) I'm a dude and 2) I've only had sex with one woman and if she had this issue, she didn't tell me.

Let me say this though. I think you're very brave and loving for pushing ahead with this. Make sure you're going through this as much for yourself as you are for him.

For some reason, whenever I was seriously ill (but not nauseated) I would get horny as hell. I never did understand why that was. I had some pretty vigorous sessions when I had bronchitis. How weird is that?

That's interesting about robitussin. I never did like the stuff, now I have another reason to dislike it.

Looks like this thread has turned into a purity test party. We used to sit around in the dorms while one person read the questions out loud. You could tell when people were making a checkmark and trying to hide the fact they were doing it, it was pretty funny.

Well, I guess I have a lot to learn from you two.

I took the 400pt test and the 100pt test. I'm 65% corrupt for the 100pt, and 54% corrupt for the 400pt.

Not having ever experimented with drugs, only having sex with one person my whole life and not being bi-curious, I think that's put me behind the curve.

Geez, I'd find you interesting. I like trying out new stuff, although I haven't had someone in my life in over a year.

 

You must be one cool dude.

Er... not sure if this was directed at me or someone else. I'm going to assume it was me just cause my post was the one that preceeded yours. That being said...

Thanks.

Do you have a link to one of these tests? I would be interested in taking one.

If your not comfy 'spilling' it out here...then send me a pm and I'll let you know how 'normal' you are...

 

I dont see anything in your posts to think of you as bragging....

Ok, good to know. I was worried I was sounding arrogant.

There are actually quite a few varieties of purity tests. Go here and have some fun. link removed

Hey, don't knock it till you try it.

I think I've probably established by now that there hasn't been much I haven't tried. I'll admit I'm not into the heavy BDSM scene at all, but bondage, domination, pain... yeah those can be a good time.

Well, I dont know exactly what you 'like' when it comes to this....but if your into what RQ is talking about.....A LOT of women are. We get just as bored as a man with routine and missionary...BELIEVE ME!

 

There needs to be more MEN like YOU!

Oh I do like it more rough. No doubt about that. There's just a lot more that I'm into, and I don't know that I feel comfortable spewing it onto the boards. Pun not intended.

I guess since I've only really shared my intimates with one person, I'm not ok with spilling it onto the internet yet.

Have you ever heard of the purity test? I took that back in college, and there's a pretty big section on sex. There are quite a few yes/no questions as to things that you've done (from the missionary position to necrophilia), and aside from things you would need 3 people to do (and necrophilia. Even I have my limits) I have progressively marked more and more of those boxes as yes. I'm not sure there's many left.

Jeez, the more I post to this thread the more it seems like I'm bragging. Really the reverse is true, I feel like I'm digging myself into a hole.

That's a point where I think I can get into trouble. I think I know what one would consider 'making love', but that really isn't my thing. To me, making love is sharing your real desires with your partner, making yourself vulnerable to them, surrendering to them and vice-versa. And no, I'm not talking about BDSM.

But I sorta figure that most people think of making-love as the whole slow-sex, staring into the eyes, lots of kissing thing. I guess with the right person that could be good, but honestly... it just kinda bores me.

See now, you aren't as 'off' as you think with this stuff. (I was just reading your thread...)

Oh I have ideas. If there's one thing I can do, it's come up with new and creative things to do in the bedroom. Finding someone who can appreciate it and not get freaked out by it, that's what worries me. This act is pretty tame by my standards. And no, that's not bragging.

RQ, the more of your posts I read, the more I like you.

Kudos to you for asking for something that you wanted. Am I off in thinking that it's still the men who are the ones willing to do just about anything? I mean (using your example), it's not often you hear a guy say "Yeah, she wanted me to spank her and pull her hair, but I felt like we weren't making love anymore and she didn't respect me." However, that does seem like a response I'd expect from a woman.

And I'm sorry, I know that sounds really sexist.

Heard of it. Done it. A penis is just a much bigger and thicker thumb. Toss in the jerking motion and you've got a big thumb that vibrates.

Thanks for the real world example, RQ. Your situation is pretty much exactly what I would like to avoid.

I get the feeling that what's really going on here is I'm afraid of rejection, afraid that I'll be judged or mocked. There may never be a 'right time', I just have to have the courage to ask for what I want and let the cards fall where they may.

I'll probably just end up scaring off a lot of women, but who knows. It's not like I have any experience at all with what women these days want/need. Maybe my tastes aren't as strange as I would think...

Yeah. Dating is going to suck.

-crawls back into his cave-

I guess I should just not think about this stuff until some time has passed. But, that's not the way I work. If I get something in my head, I have to try and hash it out a bit.

I don't know what the definition of casual sex is. I think I find that synonymous with a one night stand or a f***-buddy.

This is all really confusing. I guess I'm just worried that I'm going to find someone that I like, we end up hitting it off, and then when things finally start to get intimate I will either A) scare her or B) find out she's completely opposed to any of it.

Everyone has a 'thing(s)' that they really like. When do you bring it up with someone you're dating? How do you know when it's the right time? I really am clueless (on oh-so-many levels).