Tinkerbella

LOL a "do or die" situation...... This is what I have been considering - one last go then if it fails ----> door

I hear what you are saying....I havent sold him very well and I am not looking for what I want to hear either, so appreciate your comment! Maybe he discusses other women with me as I think I have given the impression recently that I am not interested - the defence walls went up! I made a silly mistake of telling his best mate that Dame hurt me to much last time to which he replied "yes he knows he did"! As for the lapdancing club thing - he actually has a pretty just cause for that, and to be honest it doesnt really bother me! The reason he said he is proud of me for losing the weight was in reply to a convo where people had been pretty horrid about me losing the weight - he also knows how hard I have worked to drop the weight - in no way, shape or form has he ever said I needed to lose the weight and in fact when we first met I was at my heaviest!! What I would find hard walking away from is the guy I have seen him be - when its just me and him - he is quite undoubtable a lovely man, he is affectionate without the sex, he is supportive of my career, supportive of me, we have a wicked laugh together and the unexplainable moments you have with someone. He is a very complex man - has very little friends, he tends to go through them a bit due to paranoid trust issues. I understand him and where he comes from - he has had quite frankly a sh1ttie past life and gf's! His ex fiancee died, not long after he lost his dad, and not long before he nearly lost his leg! He had a very tough upbringing and admits he hasnt a clue how to connect with females very well - yet I can honestly say sometimes we have that connection.... I find it hard to walk away from someone who could possibly be screaming inside.....all said and done I love the man on many different levels and one level is he is a friend with whom we have had some deep conversations!

Thanks for you advice guys - I guess what you all have said rings true....... I just struggle cause when he is good - he is really good, I know he suffers really badly from insecurity...I mean in the 4yrs I have known this guy, even in bed together, I have never seen him without his t-shirt on....and he has a fantastic body! I have also seen a pattern with him finding fault with every women - just so he has an excuse to get out of a relationship!! He almost purposely goes for unattainable women! He admits he has issues with trust & affection! I dunno - its just so hard because in someways I want to be the women that gets to keep him....but in someways I know I need to make a fast run! Its almost like sometimes - he is wanting me to do something...but I dont know what! I really will find it hard to walk away - this guy is the only man I could see me spending the rest of my life with........as much as he hasnt been fab, he is gentle, kind, protective, understanding......so hard guys, so fugging hard!

Hi all, I am posting as I haven't really got anyone to discuss this with as its a strange situation! I am praying to god someone gives me a good answer to help clarify my situation as my head is spinning!! Get a coffee for a long story! About 4yrs ago I met this wonderful man by e-mail. We got on fine, and got on even better in life and embarked on "relationship" - now I say this loosely as we didn't actually last that long. It was really bad timing for both of us! Even though we weren't "dating" we on and off saw each other which always resulted in sex.....time passed and it got messy on my side, I wanted to give "us" another go - he didn't - we ended up arguing and fell out.....well he asked me to not contact him anymore! A few months later by bizarre circumstances, the chap started getting on with one of my friends - so cutting a long story short, me and Damien started talking again. Now at first it was nothing special, just every now and then, then the visits started again and the sex again....this threw me and I fell in love with him, I didn't have the guts to bring these feelings up to him, so I mailed him and heard nothing for 2 weeks - then we talked again with no mention of the e-mail and everything went back to normal, this brings us onto the last 6mths..... Dame and I were on and off mailing until he got himself into a sticky situation - I spent a lot of time helping him and we became "close", for the first time since knowing him he invited me out clubbing, to meet his mates, just to go over to watch TV, you name it we spent nearly every weekend together....without sex, even though we slept in the same bed and he wanted cuddles - upon his insisting! There were a couple of occasions where people mistook us for a couple and he didn't correct them, we would be watching TV and he would want me to massage his thighs, he would ask me probing questions about what I thought of him, he told me I was the only female he ever trusted, we were basically a couple without mentioning it or having sex....all the while this is going on, he does mention other women (not that he has slept with them) just who he likes, showing me pics asking my opinion etc and this puts me off saying anything in case of another blow out.... This brings it up to date and all of a sudden I am more or less dropped - I still see him, just not as often, and more at my request than his, his attitude has changed towards me, and he is now talking about women he is sleeping with etc....he is hanging out in lap dancing clubs and has new "friends" and is going out on the pull etc. He still keeps in touch, he told me the other day he was proud of my weight loss and I looked good, I am even working on a project for him by his request.......but he is different towards me.... Basically - I am totally in love with this man, and cant figure out what is going on...I was to slow on the whole "nice" time, should have said something...but then I wasn't sure! I would just like for someone to say "it sounds like......"....do I walk away from him, is he playing with me, do I confess face 2 face my feelings.....what do I do because at the moment this is screwing me up.....really messing with my head?? xTinkx