Hi folks...Im lost here and dont know what to do. sorry if this is a bit long but Im trying not to leave anything out...
I've bee nmarried for 7 yrs in december. my wife recently enilsted in the coastguard and went away for 4 months training. In that time, i became friends with a co-workder and apparently it became to close but I didnt notice. We would talk on the phone at night. she would call me - I would never call her, unless I missed her call or she left me a VM. The majorit of the conversation was her complaining about her boyfriend/husband and I was giving her advise. In my mind we were just friends..She has a daughter and came to my house 2 times with her to play with my kids - a play date. I told my wife she was in the house. she got a little upset asked if anything was going on and I said no..you have nothing to worry about she was here with her daughter- we are just friends.
Her boyfirend kick her out and she calls me hysterical. I said she can come over to relax for a few minutes...then my wife calls. I tell my wife she was theer and what happened..the you know what hit the fan. I explained to her i was being a friend and nothing happened. I told her if it bothers her that much I would stop talking to her completey. and I have...I work with her so unfortunaltely we have to have some type of communication..Im in IT.
My wife came back on Nov 10th. she claims i was having an emotional affair with this person - we started going to counseling. Until yesterday i could not see why she would say this since i had no feelings nor a desire to be with her. I say yesterday becuase i did some research and realized my definition of an emotional affair was WAY OFF... I spoke to my wife last night and told her I realize what i;ve done and Im so sorry...I feel horrible..
My wife is an awesome woman. I love her to death - Im still in love with her. I feel horrible for what I did. I feel more horrible becuase she doesnt trust me and I unknowingly destroyed the awesome reltationship we had.
What can I do to help her get over this...im gonig crazy...i didnt realize what I was doing...if i did I would have never done it...any advice will be GREATLY appreciated it..
