I'm really at a loss as to what to do. My daughter, who is 18 & just went away to college in August, is dating a boy who is extremely controlling & may even be abusive. They have only been dating since May, but he has already given her a "promise " ring (just before she left for college). He calls her pet names that are derogatory, like "midget" and "pipsqueak"; when she comes back home for a visit, she spends almost all of her time with him & almost none with her family or her old friends. I thought that he had gone to visit her at school once since the middle of August, but now have discovered that he has been to see her at least every other weekend. She seems to be losing touch with all of her old friends, and doesn't seem to be making new ones at college. In addition, she doesn't seem to be all that interested in her college work, certainly not like she was back in the spring when she was planning her entry into academia. I know that he phones her many times every day (5-10 times, at least). He also comes from an abusive background...he was abused by his father, his mother, and his stepfather. Now, my daughter has announced to me that over Christmas, she will be going to another state with him to visit the father who abused him, and staying for over a week. I know that legally, I can do nothing , since she is 18. But I am terrified for her as I see her slowly becoming victimized by this boy. When I try to talk to her , she just gets angry and either yells at me or hangs up the phone. Any suggestions?
