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anon_boy

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  1. anon_boy
    Well, that's exactly what happened. She promised to stop contacting him, and promised not to pick up the phone if he called. She said she understood how I felt and was very sorry, blah blah. Turns out she lied. She calls him right after I leave at night or right after she gets off the phone with me. Other than this ex bf phone thing, our relationship is fantastic... So, I could: a) confront her again, which could possible end our relationship b) let it slide and hope she works out whatever she needs c) just dump her
  2. anon_boy
    Well we talked it out. She agreed to cut contacts with him, which is more extreme than I wanted. I told her that I don't mind if they're sort of casual friends... no more like aquaintances. She agreed that it wasn't fair to me that she was talking to another guy who still has feelings for her. She told me I was more important, and agreed to cut him off. I know I shouldn't have looked at her phone, but after the things I had heard, I just had to. I appologized to her over and over for doing it, but also let her know that I wasn't sorry for confronting her about what I saw. Without looking at her phone or phone records, there's really no way of making sure she's not just lying to me to calm me down, but I'm going to trust her. This is the first time in the six months we've dated that she's ever deceived me in any way, so I'm going to trust her. But, if I do find out I'm still being lied to, then I'm walking away for good. Thank you all for your help. enotalone.com is a life saver!
  3. anon_boy
    His current girlfriend overheard him say that he would leave her in a heartbeat if he could get back together with my girlfriend. I've suspected it anyway because of conversations I overheard. (he sometimes calls when he's had too much to drink). My girlfriend left him because he cheated on her. They were together for years.
  4. anon_boy
    I won't tell her to break contact. That's wrong, no doubt. Is it my problem then? Am I just a jealous boyfriend? I really can't stand that she talks to another man, who she was once intimate with, and who is still in love with her. But what can I do about it? Suck it up? She has tons of other male friends that she hangs out with all the time, and I have no problem with it, but an ex? ehh... The last thing I want to do is ruin my relationship with this girl. I completely trust that she's not really cheating on me after our conversation, and she did tell me she wouldn't see him anymore. Maybe I'm just scared she secretly is still in love with him, or that if they keep talking she might fall back in love. If that's the case, then maybe I need to just suck it up. God, I have no idea what I'm going to tell her when I call her back. I feel like a big moron for not trusting her, but at the same time, I really hate the idea of them becoming close again, and I think I was justified in what I did. Why does life have to be so hard?
  5. anon_boy
    Well BornToResist, I wish I heard from you a few minutes ago. I couldn't take it anymore, so I called my girlfriend, told her I saw that she was talking to her ex late at night for extended periods of time, and asked for an explaination, which was that he was having problems with his band, and since all his friends are pretty much members of the band, he called her...he was drunk too, btw. She said he rambled on for a couple hours about this and that, and it was all innocent. I still feel justified in asking that she a) stop hiding the fact that she calls him from me and b) that he stops calling HER to be consoled. I don't think it's fair that I have to deal with an ex boyfriend who can't let go, and a girlfriend who puts up with it. She said, very angrily, that she'd tell him not to call anymore, which doesn't really make me happy. I don't mind if they stay casual friends... more like aquaintances, but now I'm not sure exactly what I want. No contact seems harsh and controlling, and I trust that she's not getting back with him. But it bothers me that he's still in love with her and calls her in the middle of the night with his problems. What do you guys think I should do? Let them stay friends like BornToResist says, should I tell her to break contact, or should I try to make some sort of comprimise? She's really angry with me now, and I don't know what to do. I'd be mad too if she looked through my phone. Thank you all.
  6. anon_boy
    agreed. Thanks Everyone!
  7. anon_boy
    Well, you're all right. I think I have the confidence now to do this. I thought maybe I was just being paraniod and jealous. Thank you nikkers for the advice on how to confront her. I'm really bad with sensitive situations like this. I really don't want to lose this girl, but it looks like our love may be one-sided.
  8. anon_boy
    I could almost throw up I'm so nervous. I really loved this girl, but you're absolutly right. Without honesty and trust, I can't continue a relationship with this person. I'll ask her specifically about that 2 hour phone call the other night, and if she denies it, or feeds me lies, I'm walking out. I'm not going to mention her Ex's gf, but I'm going to tell her I saw the calls she made on her phone. I don't want to make myself look like a tool if some of the things she told me weren't true. All I know for sure is that they've been talking late at night, and she denied it. I'm praying that he called to get her back, and she just turned him down. I don't know why that'd take 2 hours, but I'm going to be hopeful.
  9. anon_boy
    will do. that's just the pep talk i needed. tonight's not going to be pretty though
  10. anon_boy
    So I should reveal my sources, and let her know that I've been talking with her ex's gf and that I checked her phone call list, etc? If it is just a friendly thing, and she's hiding it to spare my feelings, then I don't want her to think I'm even more insecure. But I do agree. I need to spare my own feelings first...
  11. anon_boy
    So should I tell her I know about her conversations, and admit that I'm sort of keeping track of her? Should I forbid her to make contact with him? She doesn't act any less in love with me, but secret middle-of-the-night phone calls with an ex seems very fishy to me.
  12. anon_boy
    Me and my girl have been together for a little over 6 months. I found out recently that she's been contacting her ex fairly often, like every couple days. My girl's ex's new girlfriend informed me that he's been calling her at night. She is somewhat worried as well. She said that one night, she overheard him say that he would leave her if he could get back together with my girlfriend. She told me that just 2 nights ago he called her at 1:30am (which apparently he's been doing for a few weeks) and they talked for over 2 hours. The two originally broke up because he had cheated on her, but he still loves her. I'm afraid that my girl is still in love with him. I also found out through a mutual friend that she had gone over to his house one friday night as well. I looked at her phone ( i know, i'm a horrible person ), and she has been calling him in the evenings as well. I don't want to confront her about the phone calls, because I don't want her to think I'm insecure and don't trust her, because for the most part I do. But, part of me is worried that she still has feelings for him. Do you think I should ask her about the phone calls? Should I just ignore it and assume they're just friends? Would I be justified in asking her to break contact with her ex? Advice would be greatly appreciated. The more I worry about this situation, the less sleep I get and the more my stomach hurts. Thank you I brought it up casually yesterday, and she denies talking to him except through occasional myspace messages which he starts.
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